How Writers are Like Turkeys: A Thanks for Nothing Post

Toon Thanksgiving Turkey. Isolated on a white background.

What? Are you seriously comparing me to a turkey?

Why, yes. Yes I am. But don’t take it personally. I’m comparing all writers to the Thanksgiving bird (or Thursday bird as people outside the US call it).

You suck.

Valid point. But I wasn’t commenting on your smell as in you stink like a turkey (which honestly isn’t that bad). I was referring to a turkey’s ability to see at least a 1000 feet in front of it. Now, I don’t literally (used correctly in this case so no emails) mean a writer has the power of supersight, but rather a writer has the ability to ‘see’ where their character will go and eventually end up. Some of us choose not to use this power, rather we pants it to the finish line, but the ability is still there.

What else you got?

Male turkeys are call gobblers as they announce themselves to the females using a similar sound.

I didn’t come to the RMFW blog for this crap. I’m leaving…

No wait! I have a point (not a great one, but still a point). Writers often announce themselves, not with a gobble, but with a million questions about everything or telling everyone around about their book, and/or my personal favorite, straining to eavesdropping on the couple out on their first Tinder date. Not that I’m admitting to anything, but I’ve fallen off my chair trying to listen to a conversations a few tables away.

You are such a weirdo.

Thank you, but I can’t take all the credit. The voices in my head help a lot. Now back to the turkey. According to the Smithsonian, “Studies have shown that snood (that hanging red thing on their throats) length is associated with male turkey health.” You are probably asking yourself, what this has to do with me as a writer?


The length of your manuscript is directly related to your health. No, really. I’ve heard from a few writers about physical or mental health and its effects on their ability to write. Menopause is a bitch, apparently. For the men, I’m sure Manopause sucks too.

That was a reach.

Give me a break. Do you know how hard it is to relate writing to turkey droppings?

Speaking of turkey droppings, apparently you can tell the gender of a turkey by what it drops. Males produce spiral-shaped poop and females’ poop is shaped like the letter J. Now I could say something about writers using the letter J, thereby relating the two. But that is a reach, so I’m going to talk about how you cannot tell a writer’s gender by their book. Often people make assumptions based on the narrator as to the gender of the writer. They shouldn’t. We are writers. Good at faking stuff.

Yawn. Are you done yet?

Yes. Except for one final fact, that you as a writer will obviously understand my point:

Benjamin Franklin praised the turkey as being “a much more respectable bird” than the bald eagle.

We ARE turkeys. Each and every one of us. Better than those bald eagles. Now go strut your stuff as turkeys can only fly about 25 feet in the air.

Do you have Turkey Day plans? Does it include eating this respectable bird? Kind of cannibalistic, don’t you think?

Facebook: To Page or Not to Page?

facebookOver the last year I’ve taught a few workshops on writing and being a writer. Inevitably I hear the same question in each class, and surprisingly it isn’t, can you even tie your own shoes, but I digress… The question is—should I create a Facebook page or use my profile?

The answer: I have no clue. I barely know you. Stop staring at me like that.

Okay, the real answer is similar: You tell me what works for you.

Yes, it is that simple.

And far more complicated.

Confused? Good. Marketing yourself as a writer is a confusing world. You can ask anyone for advice, but that doesn’t mean what works for them will work for you. That being said, I do have a few pros and cons for the fan page versus the profile.


Fan Page                     


Ability to schedule posts: Yes, you can schedule posts if you use a third party software, but the ability to do so directly from Facebook is only available on a fan page.

Insights: Learn about those who view your page, when they view it, and what they interact with.

Ads: This is my favorite part. You can create an ad specific to your target audience. Don’t know who your target is, research! Let me give you an example, 84% of romance readers are women, age range of 30-54. Now if I was creating an ad, I would pick women who like books (you can get more specific) in that age range. I could even go as far as to target women who’ve LIKED a particular author or book. Can’t get better than that. And you pick the cost of the ad.

Tabs: You can make tabs for new pages like a website. I have a newsletter signup form (using mailchimp), a page for giveaways, and an events page among others.

Shop Now button: I have a button on the top of my page that says shop now. It takes people to my amazon author page, and all my available books. Quick and easy. You can create a button for most any call to action.



LIKE ME: For people to see your page without you boosting the post (which costs cash) they have to have LIKED the page.

Impersonal: The fan page can feel a little impersonal, if you let it. You need to put effort into cultivating your fans. You need to be as open and genuine on that page as you are in real life. Or if you suck in real life (I’m totally sure you don’t. Really. Don’t you look pretty today…), you should keep that suckiness under wraps. Which is great life advice too. So you are welcome.

Easily Ignored: I tend to ignore requests to LIKE someone’s page, and yet, I am willing to be ‘friends’ with anyone. You might be different, but I am guessing based on the response of my own friends to LIKE my page that that is true. I am also less likely to read a post from a fan page.




You already have one: No mess, no fuss.

Most engagement:  Again, it might just be me, but I tend to engage with a post by a profile more than I do a page. It might contain the same information, but I trust a profile more. Which makes me an idiot, but you knew that already (see my inability to tie my own shoes comment earlier).

Friends are better than fans: If you can turn a fan into a friend, then you have won the marketing game. Fans are wonderful. I love people who adore me. Not sure why, other than it is awesome. But a fan is 2D. I don’t know them. A friend, on the other hand, is someone I can engage with at any time.

Newsfeed: It’s just not the same on a fan page. I love my newsfeed. I love knowing about other’s perspective. Yes, I am FREAKING NOSEY. Always have been.



Opening yourself up: Using your profile opens you up to anyone you accept as a friend (and sometimes, depending on your settings, to anyone in general). Now I don’t have a problem with that. I am the same on either my profile or page, though I am more active on my profile.

No Ads: You have to have a page to create an ad.


I suggest you create a fan page, just to see how you like it. If you don’t, just delete it. It can’t hurt, and it might make you famous. Remember to remember the little people when you are. (Yeah, I’m pretty short).

Do you have a Facebook fan page? If so, link it in the comments and I’ll LIKE you. Or give us your profile link and I’ll friend you.

I also wanted to give a shout out to all the veterans. Happy Veterans' Day! Thank you for your service!

Nothing More Terrifying: Writing the Holiday Novella

Many moons ago, as the cold winds swept across the lands, I used to scoff, yes I said it, scoff at those writers writing holiday novellas. Hacks the lot of them.

And then I realized something—I’m the hack.

I’m the writer not using all the tools in my utility belt.

It’s me who sucks, not them. And that is the horror or all horrors, besides seeing your grandfather naked.

So let’s talk holiday shorts/novellas. My original dislike of them came from a true consumer perspective, in that, they felt like marketing ads. Why else, I figured, would a writer do it other than to sell me a holiday novella for near the same price as a full length novel? Only a moron would buy half of something for the same cost. It was a total crock. A amazon christmas photoway to make writerly millions (okay, writerly tens at best).

But publishing isn’t the same world it was then, or even yesterday. Writers build readership by giving the readers what they want. If readers like holiday novellas, then damn it, I’d be truly stupid to ignore the trend, especially given the vast f***ed up fairytale world I have to work with.

If you plan to write novella/shorts for the holidays, I do have some suggestions about how to go about it:

  • Don’t cheat your reader.

Sort of a given I know, but here it is, in plain black and white, if your novella shorts the reader in any way, chances are you won’t get that return reader for your next work. So don’t think of shorter as any less content. In fact, you have less time to impact them more. Do you best work.

  • Give your secondary characters a chance to come out and play.

One way to keep the shorter story fresh is to open up to other voices. Say you have a series that features one character and his/her/it’s constant plight. Awesome. But think about using the holiday short to give the reader a more in-depth look at a secondary character. Who knows, they might have a breakout series of their own. Try new things. Be bold.

  • How you publish matters.

For those who are traditionally published only, I suggest taking a hard look at self-publishing your holiday novellas. It’s a great way to dip your toes in the water and to build your traditionally published books readership. I suggest the self-publishing route for one very good reason, traditionally publishing a novella is hard enough, but adding in the length of lead time and it’s more than my tiny brain can handle. Plus, who doesn’t need a little extra money for Valentine’s Day? Penicillin is expensive. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

  • Don’t limit yourself to one holiday.

This is perhaps my favorite part. By holiday I don’t mean Christmas alone, which is the main ‘holiday’ novella. You can create a holiday novella for the most obscure ones, for example, I’d love to see a novella about the Bolivian
Holiday of Tinku
, in which neighbors gather to punch each other in the face.

And on that note, I’ll leave you to pound the keyboard or that annoying guy down the street. Either way I look forward to reading your take on a holiday. Oh, and in case you’re interested, I have A Very F***ed-Up Christmas Tale coming out in a few short days, on November 3rd. Pre-order is available now! (See the cheesy marketer in me?)

BTW, hope you have a great Halloween!

Tell me, do you have a holiday novella out? If so, why that holiday? If not, what holiday would you pick?

Best Conference Advice: Leave Your Clothes On (Almost) All the Time

With less than three days until the Colorado Gold Conference presented by RMFW, I wanted to drag out and dust off the conference rules. Mind you, these are not ‘rules’ as in those that will land you in the conference clink, but ‘rules’ like those of writing itself--Good guidelines to follow, but every once in a while shattering them can lead to a fun adventure and/or ruining your budding career.

Rule 1 - Have fun.

Sounds easy enough, right? Except for some of us of the shy/introverted variety. We would prefer to hide in our hotel room, and if we don’t have a hotel room, the bathroom will do. Fun can be hard, especially if you’re adding pressure to yourself to perform, which brings me to rule 2.

Rule 2 – Manage your expectations.

When I first started going to conferences I would spend hours memorizing my pitch for that 10 minutes I might spend with an agent/editor. Don’t get me wrong, that 10 minutes can change a small bit of your life, but it isn’t going to change everything. Go in understanding that a conference doesn’t make or break (unless you throw up on the agent/editor) a career. Spend your time more wisely.

Rule 3 – Make friends, after all sharing is caring.

No, I don’t teach grade school on the side. But I know this better than anyone does. It is all about who you know.

But not in that gross way. Who you know means making those connections with people in similar boats. These are the people who will read your manuscript for the 10th time, or come to your third signing when no one else will. These are the people who understand when you talk about how to get blood out of shag carpet.

Meet your peers is the best advice I can give.

Amazingly, even though this is my 8th RMFW conference, I meet new people each time. And even more, I am NOT sick of those I see every year. Which again brings me to my next point.

Rule 3 – Shower. Please. (You know who you are).

Rule 4 – Don’t annoy others.

Please don’t pitch during workshops. I’ve seen it a million times at the agent and editor panels, people summarizing their book during the Q&A. If you have a question about your book specifically, ask in a private moment or better yet make it a general question. For example, if you want to know about where your book ‘fits’, which I know as a newbie I spent way too much time and energy trying to figure it out (and the publisher changed it twice since), ask a general question about the category and keep it under 140 words. We want to know the status of the industry, not about your book. Save it for dinner conversation.

Rule 5 – Learn as much as your brain can take.

Three days is a crazy amount of learning. Remember to pace yourself. If you need a break, you need a break.

Go hide in that bathroom.

I’ll be in the next stall.


Do you have any rule you'd like to share? Also, roll call. Who will be at the RMFW Conference?


And my last bit of advice is, say hi to me. I love to hear about books. I want to hear about yours. Let's be friends, so I can ask you the best way to dispose of a body.

Check out my new website and get a free eBook. And make sure to friend me on Facebook, so the cops know just who helped me bury that body.

WTF Was I Thinking? One Month until CO Gold

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

The Lady in PinkIn a few short days, August 18th to be precise, my tenth book, THE LADY IN PINK, will be released. Yes. 10 whole, big books. I can’t hardly believe it.

Don’t stop read!

I am not bragging nor am I trying to subliminally mind control you into buying it

*buy my book, buy my book, buy my book* Okay, maybe that time I was. Can’t blame an author for trying…

Anyway, my post has a much more important and relevant to you, I hope, point.

Though I’ve had 10 books published since 2010 when I sold my first series to Kensington at the CO Gold Conference, which, in case you missed it, is ONE MONTH AWAY as of today, I still feel that twisty, sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of pitching to an editor.

Which I will be doing at this conference.

For the first time in over 3 years.

If anyone says it’s like riding a bike, they are LIARS.

Or maybe they aren’t. I was never any good at not falling off a bike either.

The very thought of having to tell someone about my book in 30 words of less or at all gives me the willies. Why can’t they just read it, love it, and pay me millions?

I plan (if she’s not full already) to pitch to Chelsey Emmelhainz, Associate Editor at HarperCollins. Now the question is, what to pitch? And how to do it? I need to stand out, to make her love me in the first 3 seconds (no pressure). Bribery is nice. Maybe she’d like a cookie? Or $5?

Maybe I shouldn’t pitch.

Maybe I shouldn’t even be a writer.

Yep, you are witnessing my nervous breakdown in blog post form.

Lucky you.

I hope I don’t throw up on her.

I should bring a vomit bag just in case.

If you didn’t get my point in all my neurotic rambling, it is this, no matter how many times or how many books someone has, they are writers at heart. Meaning they are half desperate, crazy and unsure with equal parts terrified of failure. Can’t forget sweaty. We are a sweaty people.

Oh, that’s just me, huh? Sure it is….

The key to surviving the next month as terror sets in at having to pitch, is to remember, Chelsey Emmelhainz probably won’t stab me in the eye with her pen. I think HarperColllins frowns on that. But maybe not.

So if you see me at the conference wearing an eye patch, well, you know what occurred at my pitch session. Same if you see her walking around with cookie crumbs on her shirt and me with a huge smile on my face. If I see you, please tell me all about how yours went. I love to hear practice pitches too. Sharing is caring after all.

Or share your pitch in the comments.

See you all in a month.

And remember--buy my book, buy my book, buy my book—to smile, shake the editor/agents hand, and give them all you’ve got.


Come stalk me on my shiny new website or on facebook, where I spend most of my writing time.

Would’ve Been Kinder to Stab Me in the I: How Harper Lee Ruined My Life

J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

They say, Never Meet Your Writerly Heroes. I can see why. Writers are very much human, as in INCREDBILIBY flawed individuals. I mean, have you met me?

Then again, I’ve had the privilege of meeting three of my all time writerly crushes. In all three cases (Christopher Moore, Tim Dorsey & Robert Crais) they were perfectly lovely people. Not a one got drunk and tried to slip me the tongue (as opposed to a great storpicy a friend of mine has about a certain, now dead, author named Hunter and a wild night in Boulder, CO). Much to my chagrin I might add, but that’s a post for another time, and probably another blog – Fifty Shades of Crap You Don’t Want to Know about Me.

What I wanted to discuss today, is Harper Lee and Go Set a Watchman. Yes, I am going to whine and there maybe a few spoilers (which I learned after reading the 1st chapter online so they aren’t exactly spoilers for the whole book so I don’t feel too bad about spilling some secrets).

To Kill a Mockingbird was and is my favorite book. It has been since I first read it at the not so tender age of 18. I won’t go into the whys, but to me, it’s nearly the perfect novel. What added to the mystic was the lore of Harper Lee--having written only one perfect novel, and then never having published another word. It was/is my idea of the best writing career.

For so many years she was incredibly protective of her privacy and her rights. And then Go Set a Watchmen was announced. I, like so many others, was thrilled with a squeal to Scout’s story. I imagined all the ways in which the tale would enfold, about how Scout and Jem grew up, about who they became in the wake of the events of that summer.

That excitement faded under the elderly abuse accusations and later the investigation into those charges. But I hung in, pre-ordering my copy. And days before the release, the publisher put chapter 1 online…

Are you freaking kidding me? Jem’s dead? His death gets a throw away one paragraph?

My innocence is lost.

To Kill a Mockingbird will never be the same for me again. Which is why I’m sharing that factoid with you, so your illusions are shattered too. Misery loving company and all.

Which brings me to the point of this post, as a writer, I need to make sure I never do that to my readers. I can kill off characters all I want, but I need to do it in a way that acknowledges the sacrifice of time and attention my readers have put into my books.

I am not blaming Harper Lee for killing Jem off, nor with how she did it, as I fully believe she didn’t intend this book to meet the reader’s gaze. Not really at least.

Which is my second point of this post, as a writer, you don’t fully have control over what happens after you sell as book or aren’t in control of your rights anymore. So be careful in whatever decisions you make, now and going forward, i.e., who you leave your writerly estate too.

Did you read Go Set a Watchman? If so, what did you think? If not, why not? And do you have any other examples of when a writer you love destroyed your faith in writerly humanity?


Now come talk smack to me on facebook, twitter or on my website.  Or better yet, leave me all of your writerly estate. I vow not to Go Set a Watchman your stuff.

J.A. Kazimer is Dead

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

Okay, I’m not really dead. At least I’m not as of writing this post. With my luck as soon as I type the last word I’ll choke on my own spit and expire on the spot. Therefore, you must forgive my rambling as I don’t want this post to ever end.

So back to my being dead.

Today’s post is about Nom de Plumes, which for those of you not fluent in pretension or ostentatiousness, means Pen Name. There are many stories about why an author picks a certain pen name and even more opinions on whether or not to use one.

I did. Sort of. I use J.A. Kazimer. My reasons are much like J.K. Rowling’s. Rumor has it, Joanne Rowling’s publisher decided to use the initials J.K. (the K is meaningless, not even close to her actual middle initial) to disguise the author’s gender so boys would buy the Harry Potter books.

Lame, I know, but a very real problem even in 2015.

Since I started out writing both crime fiction and fairytale humor, in a male POV, it made sense to use J.A. when my publisher asked. When I entered the romance genre my use of initials became a little cumbersome. They also do very little to hide my true (superhero-like) identity. Unlike my most favorite of Non de Plume tales.

One fish, two fish, red fish…What the hell do you mean Dr. Seuss (real name Theodor Geisel) wasn’t a doctor? Instead he was a criminal mastermind. Okay, maybe not a mastermind, but he did throw a raging party at Dartmouth, and was subsequently booted out of his position as editor-in-chief of the school’s magazine. Mind you, this was during prohibition so he not only faced the wrath of the college but he broke federal law.

To keep writing for the magazine he'd been fired from, he wrote under the name Mr. Suess, as it seemed like the most ridiculous name he could think of.

The Dr. came later. Instead of gaining his medical license or obtaining a PhD, Seuss did it the old fashioned way. He gave himself the esteemed title as a joke, since his father always wanted him to go to medical school.

Hence, from now on, I wish to be called Princess Julie.

No. I mean it. Call me Princess. Or maybe Queen…

Anyway, one other pen name tale of note: O. Henry…well the he was really a prison guard in the Ohio prison where William Sydney Porter was incarcerated for embezzlement. Why Porter picked to use Orrin Henry’s name, we will never know, but it goes to show you. Pick a pen name that you’re willing to live with (at least until you get paroled).

So let’s play a game. If you have a pen name, tell us what it is and why you picked it. If you don’t have one, what would be your ideal one? And why? Would you use the power for good or evil? I personally pick evil, but that’s just me.

Princess Julie, Queen of All Words Staring with O is out!

Crap, here comes the tidal wave of spit...

Come hangout with me on facebook or visit my website at

Secrets of Author Success as Told By Someone Successful (Which is Not Me or is that I?)

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

As writers we hear tons of advice from editors, agents, other writers and fans (plus anyone who ever hears we are writers, randomly, even in the loo).

All of this advice is wonderful. And horrible. Good and bad. It's all about how we see it, and how we react to it.

The Guardian newspaper out of London once collected 10 bits of advice from some famous authors. While I love reading this list just to see what advice Neil Gaiman has for me, it's the Irish novelist, Roddy Doyle, who struck the biggest cord. Here's a few bits of his wisdom:

1 Do not place a photograph of your ­favourite author on your desk, especially if the author is one of the famous ones who committed suicide.

Best advice I can think of. If my favorite writer can't handle the pressure, what is the future for a hack like me?

4 Do give the work a name as quickly as possible. Own it, and see it. Dickens knew Bleak House was going to be called Bleak House before he started writing it. The rest must have been easy.

I like this idea as it keeps me on track. I can always change it at a later date. It's not like the publisher is going to keep my title anyway.

5 Do restrict your browsing to a few websites a day. Don't go near the online bookies – unless it's research.

When I started out writing, I used to play online poker. I called it research. God, do I love my research.

6 Do keep a thesaurus, but in the shed at the back of the garden or behind the fridge, somewhere that demands travel or effort. Chances are the words that come into your head will do fine, eg "horse", "ran", "said".

Again, when I first started out, I thought I sounded smarter by using my thesaurus at will. Now I use it as a coffee coaster. I find it works much better.

Do, occasionally, give in to temptation. Wash the kitchen floor, hang out the washing. It's research.

God, I HATE research. I'm a writer. Why do I have to wash my clothes? Or the floor? No one's looking there.

And finally, my favorite:

10 Do spend a few minutes a day working on the cover biog – "He divides his time between Kabul and Tierra del Fuego." But then get back to work.

J.A. Kazimer lives in a small mountain community on Mars. When she's not fostering peace accords between people and Martians, she writes best selling, award winning books about how awesome she is...

Any advice you would add? Any advice you've ever taken that you'd like to share?

How to Get Away with Murder (Non-TV Show Edition)

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

From the title you’d guess that I was about to tell you how to murder someone. But I’m not. At least not really. This post is about reality in fiction.

No, really dear NSA (who can still read my meta data, or is that my mind thanks to the Patriot Act renewal). I’m not plotting to kill anyone.

I promise *wink, wink*

Anyway…. I recently asked my facebook writer friends, which I truly hope you are one of (if not, why not? I don’t smell that bad and I can be fun. No really. Ask anyone. If you’d like to become one, please do so at, about using a fictional fact in a story.

More to the point, I wanted to lie about something. Something insignificant but what appeared factual in this story. Basically, I planned on saying Washington DC had the third most surveillance cameras in the world. This is a lie. They’re not even close. In fact, the third most cameras belongs to…drum roll…Chicago. Not surprising with the amount of Bears there. Number two is London, and number one is Beijing in case you ever need to know, which goes back to the title. Damn, I guess I was offering advice on how to avoid a murder charge.

I was surprised by the response of my fellow writers. Many said, hey, it’s fiction so do what you want. This was my thinking at the time. But a far greater number of writers responded with, “WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?” To which I said, “Maybe, but what’s your point?”

And boy did they have a point.

As a reader, I sometimes believe and then tell others ‘facts’ I read in a novel. Now I’m not talking about story ‘facts’ but little bits of research-y (yes, I just made up my own word. It’s my blog post, so there) ones like how everybody on a white, sandy beach gets their own cabaña boy.

Oh, how I long for a cabana boy.

But that’s another post for another day.

So what’s your opinion? Can I lie about the amount of cameras? Or would I be leading my flock (that’s what I’d love for all of you to start calling yourself. No. Really. That would make my year) astray? Where’s the line between fiction and reality in fiction? Or the reverse, how much fiction can you put in non-fiction or memoir?

Oh, and if you murder anyone in Chicago because of my advice, let’s just call that ‘our’ little secret.

J.A. (Julie) Kazimer lives in Denver, CO. Novels include CURSES! A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale, Holy Socks & Dirtier Demons, Dope Sick: A Love Story and FROGGY STYLE as well as the forthcoming book, The Assassin’s Heart. J.A. spent years spilling drinks as a bartender and then stalked people while working as a private investigator. For more about Julie, visit her website.

Once, Twice, Three Times a Manuscript….(Anyone Under 40 Won’t Have a Clue What Song The Title References But I’m Using it Anyway Because it’s My Title and I Can…Sing it!)

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

The weekend before last I was lucky enough to hang out at the Pikes Peak Writer Conference. I also did some teaching but it was more about seeing old friends and making plenty of new fabulous ones. Besides having a great time abusing whiskey, wine and food I spent some time talking with other writers about their process.

It was at this point I had an epiphany.

Or maybe you could refer to it as a drunken revelation.

Either way, this is my point-- tables have dancing naked weight limits.

No, scratch that. I had two epiphanies and a bruise on my coccus the size and shape of Texas.

Anyway....we all have such different methods and madness for our works. And each, while valid, might not be the best choice for us, like dancing on a table when you're old enough to know far better.

Here's what I mean. I'm a pantster. A REALLY BIG ONE. I sit down to write and start at page one, word one. But I can learn to be better at plotting and that could make for more words, and more books. I can learn how to be a better marketer. I can learn to write deeper characters and better description. An old dog can be taught new tricks, as long as the teacher talks real slow and plenty of cookies are involved.

Maybe I can learn these things from a class or a workshop taught from one of the amazing instructors already selected for the RMFW Conference in September. Or I can learn from the fantastic community we are a part of.

One of the interesting things I learned a few weekends ago was from a longtime RMFW member -- Mike Befeler. Mike never knows who is murderer is going to be. Right up until the end. It's a good lesson if you've ever read his work, it feels organic for the protagonist when he figures out who done it. Now I am not saying I could pull it off, but it does give me insight into his process.

I'm interested in your own process. How many revisions does it take for the finished (or as close as you can get) product? Do you know what is going to happen when you start? Do you have any advice that has helped you greatly along your path? Let's open up and share all we can together.

Or else I will get on that table!


The Fairyland Murders_ebook (1)J.A. (Julie) Kazimer writes books. So many books that she now has to use her toes to count them. Learn more at or friend her on facebook because she's pretty lonely. You can also tweet her at @jakazimer and she'll share some gruesome stories about decaying bodies or puppies. Tweeters choice.

Also, her latest book, THE FAIRYLAND MURDERS is on sale for the low, low, how the heck am I going to afford my Rolex now, price of $1.99. I don't know how long it will be on sale as my publisher never tells me anything....So pick up a copy today. Or don't. I'm not going to beg...Okay, I will beg. Please, please--