By A Beer for the Shower
Hi folks. We’re Brandon and Bryan. We co-write a lot of things together. Sometimes it’s web-comics. Sometimes it’s novels. And sometimes it’s a product dissatisfaction email for that Pineapple Slicer-N-Dicer 3000 that only succeeded in coring a left arm down to the elbow nub.
But whatever the writing project may be, we often work on it together. No, it’s not because we’re co-dependent man-children; that’s just a coincidence. It’s because we find that collaboration in writing has helped all aspects of our lives, and as self-proclaimed experts who’ve been doing this for longer than some folks have been married, we’ve got plenty of insights on this topic. And so we proudly present to you: The Ten Commandments of Writerly Collaboration.
I. Thou Shall Not Butter Thy Partner’s Biscuits – Wow, that sounds dirty. Well, don’t do that either. But what we really mean is not to be a suck up. If all you do is nod and say “this is great” when it’s really not, without giving any form of constructive criticism, then you’re not helping yourself or your writing partner. Collaboration is all about honesty. You have to be able to tell your partner the truth – even if it’s not always what they want to hear. After all, bad writing doesn’t just make your partner look bad, it makes you look bad, too.
II. Thou Shall Not Take the Name of Thy Work in Vain - Well, not more than one or two dozen times a day. Any more than that and it’s pretty clear you should have chosen a better topic/genre/storyline to begin with. Don’t start having buyer’s remorse when you’re 80K words into your intergalactic space opera. Pick something you’re going to love until the bitter end and stick with it. Inconsistency is the killer of collaboration. Which leads us to our next Commandment…
III. Thou Shall Remember the Brainstorming Day, and Keep it Holy – Once a week we get together to work on new story ideas. Some people might call those meetings “the creative process,” but we like to think of them as “a mildly legitimate excuse for midday drinking.” Coming up with ideas is the most fun part of the collaborative gig, so don’t cut yourself short and really spend some time using your double brainpower to not just pick out an awesome story to tell, but to continue working on it as a team.
IV. Thou Shall Not Bear False Copyright Against Thy Writing Partner – This one’s pretty easy. Sometimes in a collaborative project things just don’t work out. Some people just aren’t meant to work together. Don’t be a dick. Don’t go on and finish the project without your partner’s explicit consent. Unless you scrub out all of their writing and do it all over again… In which case, you’re still a dick.
V. Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Prose – As you’ve probably already guessed, consistency is key in forming a collaborative voice. Instead of trying to mimic one another’s already established “voice,” sit down and create the theoretical style of prose you both want a specific project to have before you start writing. And if possible, try to compromise on something that’s common ground between your writing style and your writing partner’s.
VI. Thou Shall Not Restrict Collaboration Just To Writing Novels – One of the big things we always hear is, “Well, why do I need to collaborate? I write novels on my own just fine.” But collaboration is good for more than just passing off half your work to a warm body. It’s a great way to familiarize yourself with someone’s writing style (and vice versa) so that you have the ultimate critique partner. Or maybe it’s just a way to write a few short stories together and get yourself familiar with someone else’s writing process. Collaboration isn’t just about output, it’s also about learning.
VII. Thou Shall Not Kill… The Written Word – Come on, when you’ve got two brains instead of one, there’s no excuse for pumping out some awful fad novel just for the sake of an easy sell. Put some real brainpower into your collaborative idea and make that sucker as clever and well-written as possible. Well, unless that easy, brainless sell makes you both millionaires.
VIII. Thou Shall Honor Thy Father And Thy Mother… And Thy Writing Partner – In other words, if you feel stuck or you get suddenly busy (as things happen), just keep your writing partner in the loop. Don’t blow them off and hope they won’t notice those last 10 text messages they sent are all un-replied to but each have a status of ‘Message Read.’ Just tell them it might take a little more time. Or, one of our favorite tricks is to tell the other person, “I’m a little bit stuck on this part. You mind taking over for now?” It’s a great way to shirk responsibility temporarily but in the most thoughtful way possible (no, really).
IX. Thou Shall Not Murder Thy Writing Partner – No, seriously guys. You will go to prison. And you’re too pretty for prison. Trust us. But in all seriousness, collaboration can be pretty damn stressful. Which is why you’ve got to find the right person: one that you can work well with. It’s a trial-and-error process, unfortunately. There’s no way around that. And both of us have plenty of horror stories from our sideshow selection of failed collaborations past.
X. Thou Shall Get Jiggy Wid It – We just really wanted to say that statement as a Commandment. But kidding aside, the last, and possibly most important Commandment of all just means to have fun. If you’re not having fun, it will show in the writing. And while some see collaboration as a stressful stranglehold over who gets to butcher what, it’s important to see it for what it really is – a thrilling opportunity to explore a new story from two perspectives.
So even if you don’t aspire to be the next Stephen King and Peter Straub or the next J and K Rowling, we think it’s worth it for every writer to collaborate at least once. Not just because it’s a rich experience that allows you to see something you love through the eyes of another, but because if you should fail, you can at least say, “Hey, it was his fault, too.”
Brandon and Bryan are a pair of fraternal, non-related twin brothers who draw and write politically incorrect things on the popular web comic/blog A Beer for the Shower. Their published works include the novella collection The Graveyard Shift, and the novels Dead and Moaning in Las Vegas, The Missing Link, and The Sensationally Absurd Life and Times of Slim Dyson, all of which have great reviews from people that are not their mothers. Brandon’s solo novels include Lovely Death, and Chasing the Sandman. Bryan’s most recent solo novel is Demetri and the Banana Flavored Rocketship. Maybe some day they will grow up and get real jobs, but until then, you can find them over at www.abeerfortheshower.com doodling, writing, and generally not taking anything all that seriously.
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