By Julie Kazimer
For the last week I’ve racked my brain to come up with a blog post for the ages, one which will be sheared into the mind of every reader. In the end I think I tore something vital, and finally came up with a post worthy of RMFW writers—The Perfect Writerly Advice.
Stop rolling your eyes.
They might stick that way.
Good advice from dear old mom? Or was she full of it? Has anyone’s eyes ever stuck that way?
Yes, it’s true. Your mom lied. Probably more than once. Which I’m sure is what has warped you into becoming a writer in the first place. But in mom’s defense, she was only passing along the advice she’d received from her own mother, and her mother’s mother, and so on.
This madness ends now.
Okay, this madness ends in a hundred or so words. You can wait that long, right?
See I did something stupid, I asked my Facebook friends, most of which are writers, to give me their very best writerly advice. Trust me on this. It was a bad, bad idea. But I’ll share the top highlights (You can read them in their entirety here):
The top writerly advice was:
1) Quit. Don’t even think of writing as a career choice.
2) Don’t follow any advice you read on a blog.
3) First drafts suck and they should suck. Embrace it.
4) Read. A lot. Then read some more.
5) Never give up on your dream.
As you can plainly see, my Facebook friends are a smart, albeit twisted and jaded lot. But they do prove a point. All the great writerly advice in the world (and here is some of the best) will not make you into a bestselling author, any more than it will get you a three book deal or even finish your current WIP.
But I do have the perfect piece of writerly advice for those looking for the perfect piece of writerly advice:
Yes, and you’re right, completely worthless as advice.
I wish writing was as simple as taking the advice of others. The advice, write every day, works for Stephen King, so how could I, a mere hack in comparison, not live and breathe this advice? How could I not listen when Elmore Leonard says, avoid prologues? Sadly I don’t write daily or even weekly and I often have prologues in my books. Does that make me wrong? Does it mean I won’t be successful or write unforgettable characters or books? Probably, but not because I didn’t follow Mr. King or Mr. Leonard’s advice. Other factors are at work, conspiring against me (Oh, I know all about the evil plot to make me write zombie M & M erotica).
As humans, it is our responsibility to dole out advice to everyone we meet, in line at Starbucks (always advise extra whip), to our kids (don’t put a fork in the light socket), and to our writerly pals (only write while wearing tights). Now as writers, it is our responsibility to ignore all that helpful advice, and let our eyes stick once in a while.
Any advice you’ve found helpful in your writerly career? Any advice you love to ignore?
J.A. (Julie) Kazimer lives in Denver, CO. Novels include CURSES! A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale, Holy Socks & Dirtier Demons, Dope Sick: A Love Story and FROGGY STYLE as well as the forthcoming romance from Coffeetown Press, The Assassin’s Heart, and the upcoming mystery series, Deadly Ever After from Kensington Books. J.A. spent years spilling drinks as a bartender and then stalked people while working as a private investigator.