WANTED: Writerly Friend for Fun and Whining

By Julie Kazimer

A couple of weeks ago the book and blogging wizard, Chuck Wendig, at his blog, terribleminds (a must read for every writer), had a guest post from Karina Cooper or as she prefers to be called, Karina F***ing Cooper, which I must admit has a nice ring to it.

On Chuck’s blog, Karina discussed what a writer should do while waiting for feedback from agents or editors. Her advice is, write another book. For the RMFW community that’s a no-brainer. We are writers. We write. A lot. Hundreds of thousands of words a year. Maybe as many as a few million during November alone. That’s just how we as a group, roll. While I highly suggest you read the rest of Karina’s very funny and informative post, I wanted to talk about one thing she mentioned.

Make friends.

She wasn’t talking Facebook friends or friends with that couple down the block who may or may not be swingers, but rather, writerly friends. Those who understand your plight. Who support you. Who find your three hour rambling about your character’s headspace, if not interesting, at least not cause for a homicidal rampage.

Now if you’re a fan of The Big Bang Theory, you might remember Sheldon’s quest to make a new friend. He followed a simple plan found in a children’s book, which had the basic message: make friends with someone who has a similar interests as you. FYI, if you’re reading this, you and I have a similar interest, other than me, I mean. We both love writing, and if you are like me, you could use at least two more friends (I hear you need at least 6 good ones to be your pallbearers).

So let’s be friends:

Check – Yes

Check – No

Check – Maybe Later, I’m Washing My Hair Right Now

Other than the obvious begging above, how do writers make writerly friends? We connect with each other, on social media, at conferences, at workshops, and at booksignings. We help each other out by providing helpful hints about PR, query letters, and what agent is looking for what.

Let’s start a RMFW revolution today. Let’s get to know each other. If you’re a member or even if you aren’t, post a comment with your social media info, and let’s start a conversation about writing or cupcakes, or even why the standard number of pallbearers is 6.

Friend me on facebook or follow me on twitter and I will do the same. I look forward to meeting you, and finding out how weird you really are. How do I know you’re an odd duck? Well, you’re a writer. I like that about you already.

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J.A. (Julie) Kazimer lives in Denver, CO. Novels include The Body Dwellers, CURSES! A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale, Holy Socks & Dirtier Demons, Dope Sick: A Love Story and FROGGY STYLE as well as the forthcoming romance, The Assassin’s Heart, and the upcoming mystery series, Deadly Ever After from Kensington Books. J.A. spent years spilling drinks as a bartender and then stalked people while working as a private investigator.

Learn more at www.jakazimer.com or on her writerly talk blog More Than a Little F***ed Up. She can also be found (way too much of the time) on Twitter as @jakazimer and on Facebook as Julie Kazimer.

This entry was posted in Blog, General Interest and tagged , on by .

About Julie Kazimer

J.A. (Julie) Kazimer is a writer living in Denver, CO. Books include The Junkie Tales, The Body Dwellers, CURSES! A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale, Holy Socks & Dirtier Demons, Dope Sick: A Love Story, SHANK, Froggy Style: A F***ed Up Fairy Tale and The Assassin's Heart. She is currently working on a new fairy tale mystery for Kensington Books titled The Fairyland Murders.

29 thoughts on “WANTED: Writerly Friend for Fun and Whining

  1. Tracy Brisendine

    Great post, lady!
    I know how hard it is for me to get out there and talk to people. Interaction with strangers (even potentially fabulous writerly types) usually gives me hives. Even if writing is the only thing we have in common, it’s a passionate thing and a solid connection ;) Thanks for the post! – Tracy (@WolvesCanEatMe and on Facebook as Tracy Thornton Brisendine)

    Reply
    1. Julie Kazimer

      Love Tracy. Go be her friend too!

      How could you not be friends with someone cool enough to have the twitter handle of @WolvesCanEatMe?

      Reply
        1. Julie Kazimer

          Most of them don’t count as I was arguing hockey with Katriena. But thanks. It feels good to know at least someone is reading the crap I ramble on about :)

          Reply
  2. Cara Lopez Lee

    Important advice, J.A.! Writer friends have changed my life. I didn’t know I had a tribe until we found each other! This is especially important now that I write novels, one step away from schizophrenia as I talk to people in my head. What a relief to spend time with other sane people who do this, too! Only a few read my work, but the rest give me communal respite from my lonely task – and I love them for it.

    Reply
    1. Julie Kazimer

      Love Katriena. She’s a great social media friend, and just made a book deal for a vampire hockey romance novel titled Blood on Ice. How could you not love her for that? Go AVS!!!!

      Reply
        1. Julie Kazimer

          You’re lucky that they are my second favorite team. If you would’ve said, Go Wings, I might’ve ended this friendship.

          Reply
          1. Katriena Knights

            UGH Wings suck. I have a friend who’s related to Justin Abdelkader. So awkward… Also I think it’s cool the Avs are doing so well so far this year, but I’m afraid if they do too well ticket prices will go way up and my life will be ruined.

          2. David Seguin

            Oh no, this conversation just got awkward. Me being from Detroit and all… I live in Denver now so I am used to hearing this kind of talk. It’s ok, I am proud of not letting go of my home town. Go Wings! (please don’t defriend me Julie ;-)

          3. Julie Kazimer

            Not good, David. Unfriending is the least of your worries, we tend to kick Red Wings fans from the state. But I might forgive you since we’re now friends…

          4. Katriena Knights

            I figure it’s okay if you’re actually FROM Michigan. I’m originally from Illinois, thus my Hawks loyalty. :-D

  3. Karen Duvall

    Huggies, my friend! :) I think all my friends are writers and those who are not… hmmm. But I’ve made writer friends in a variety of places. Writer forums are an incredible place to make new friends. That’s how I introduce a lot of people to RMFW and to our annual conference.

    Now I can’t get the theme song from friends out of my head.

    Reply
  4. Vagilantes

    Friend request sent and confirmed – we’re connected. Facebook contact: find me at Vagilantes or Julie Golden. Twitter too, although I rarely tweet except to announce a weekly blog post. Blog: http://vagilantes.com/

    The novel Vagilantes reflects my RMFW side of life, but the blog is always about real news with a 2013 series titled 1/52 Ways to Stop Pedophiles.

    Reply
    1. Julie Kazimer

      Hi Julie,

      Thrilled to be your friend. I know we met at the 2012 RMFW conference at the PAL meeting, but it’s great to hook up online too.

      Reply
  5. David Seguin

    Great post! Social media has certainly widened the reach of friendship. Also a great place for sharing, supporting, and general craziness.

    Reply
    1. Julie Kazimer

      Hi David,

      I love being ‘friends’ with people from places I’ve never heard of. I can’t imagine a world without social media. How did I survive the 90′s on dial-up AOL?

      Reply
  6. Lisa Brown Roberts

    Great idea, Julie! Writer friends are my faves cuz they get the crazy :) I’m new to RMFW but my SCBWI writing buds have saved my sanity for many years, and I’m excited to be expanding my word junkie network. I think I was supposed to say “hi” to you at Colo Gold…should have looked in the bar, right? :) Would love to socially connect with new people: Twitter @LBrownRoberts, FB author page: https://www.facebook.com/authorLisaBrownRoberts, web: http://www.lisabrownroberts.com/

    Reply

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