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Every Story is a Love Story

Posted on February 28, 2023February 1, 2024 by Rachel Dempsey

Valentine’s Day is over, you say. And anyway Rachel, don’t you write horror?

I’m not talking about romantic love, the romance genre or even incorporating romantic elements in any genre. Rather, I mean that the impetus for writing anything comes from a desire to express and inspire love.

Wait, what? How do stories about hauntings, monsters and dismemberment inspire love? I’ll return to that in a minute. First, allow me to share how I started thinking about this whole love thing. I was having lunch with a writer friend and mentioned I’d brought along a few copies of her book for her to sign. She responded, “Which one?” I named the title, to which she replied, “Oh, I love that one. I mean, I love my other book, too, they’re mine, I love them all.” I’d heard writers refer to their books as their babies before, but never with such unabashed affection. It made me wonder, do I love my stories that much? And if not, why?

In the days since, I’ve realized I expect my stories to earn my love. As in, once the manuscript is perfect, and only then, should I allow myself to adore it. The hitch, of course, comes when I realize the writing will never be perfect and it becomes tedious to slog along on something I will never truly love. So, I’ve decided to approach the relationship differently. What if the problem isn’t with my writing, and all its imperfections, but with my attitude toward it? Can I find a way to make my love less conditional?

Loving what I write has everything to do with writing what I love. On the macro level, that might mean writing what is on my mind and heart at the time, regardless of market trends or taboos. On the micro level, it means editing with a lens of love, rather than self-criticism, an inner voice that says “I don’t love that sentence/paragraph/idea as much as I thought I would.” Instead of “that sucks,” I can tell myself, “This part needs a little more love.” Does this mean I have to love everything I write? Probably not. That smacks of perfectionism again. Or worse, delusions of grandeur. Instead, I will strive to imbed something I love in everything I write, be it a place, a character, a sensory detail, a memory, an idea, or a mere word.

In the same way I can’t make readers afraid of anything but I can make them afraid for my characters by immersing them in my characters’ fears, I can inspire love in my readers by allowing them to experience a character’s love, and often by extension, my own. It doesn’t have to be sexy or epic, as long as its authentic. I’m beginning to believe this is what we mean when we say a piece of writing has some undefinable quality that makes it special, a distinct voice or a sense that the writer was actually, dare we say, having fun in the creative process. And yes, this can include writing dark or tragic subjects. Not in any sadistic sense, but in the way I’m telling the story with passion and conviction. In the end, whether my readers love the story as much as I do is outside my control. But if I’ve spent my time creating something I love despite its flaws, well, I can live with that.

Image by Jess Bailey.

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Rachel Dempsey

Rachel Dempsey has written and directed over a dozen plays for numerous acclaimed theater organizations such as Imagination Stage and ArtStream. Her prose has won contests such as The Colorado Gold Rush Literary Awards, the Denver Women’s Press Club Emerging Writers Contest and the Writer’s Digest Annual Writing Competition. Her short fiction appears in anthologies from Shacklebound Books, Brigids Gate Press, Timber Ghost Press and Twenty Bellows (Pushcart nominated, 2023). She holds a BFA in Drama and English from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, a Master’s degree in Journalism from Georgetown University and an MFA in Creative Writing from Regis in Denver where she currently lives with her husband and three daughters.
Category: Writing strategies

1 thought on “Every Story is a Love Story”

  1. Ann Gordon says:
    March 7, 2023 at 2:53 pm

    Hi Rachel,
    Nice post about loving what you write. Well said.
    Ann

Comments are closed.

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