By Karen Duvall
Kinsey was very sad when I told her we didn’t have a guest for her this week. She’s super friendly and loves meeting other dogs even though she likes people better. I told her she might have someone new to talk to next week. If there are any writer’s pets out there who’d like to be interviewed for Talk to the Paw, please contact me.
There are always accusations flying between my pets. In my home, the blame game is a regular sport. There are no winners, and everyone calls each other a loser. Things were no different this week. I’ve been busier than usual getting ready for the Colorado Gold Conference, and the animals are nervous about my husband and me leaving them behind. They’ll have a sitter here at the house while we’re gone, but like all children, they’d rather have Mom and Dad. Point is, they’re a bit on edge. More hissing and barking than normal, and usually at each other.
Kinsey: Admit it. I know it was you.
Sammy: Narrows her eyes. Was not.
Kinsey: Was too.
Sammy: Was not.
Kinsey: Was too.
Sammy: How do you know it wasn’t Cody? Or Teddy?
Kinsey: Because you puke more than they do.
Sammy: It wasn’t my puke.
Kinsey: I heard you make that sound you do when you throw up. Like a drowning vacuum cleaner with hiccups.
Sammy: Was there a hairball in it?
Kinsey: Pauses to think. Yes! There was a hairball! And it was black, just like your fur.
Sammy: Bristles. Liar! I’ve never thrown up a hairball. Neither has Cody or Teddy. It was YOU that threw up on the carpet!
Kinsey: Looks around and clears her throat. It was YOU that killed the cute little bird in the back yard the other day.
Sammy: Me? Puh-leese. I’m not allowed outside.
Kinsey: But you got out. I watched you. Dad put you in your cat walker in the yard and you pawed the latch until it sprung. I saw you!
Sammy: Shrugs. So I got out. So what. That doesn’t mean I killed the bird.
Kinsey: You were the only one loose.
Sammy: YOU were loose, too, you know.
Kinsey: Why would I kill a bird? That’s what cats do, not dogs.
Sammy: I’ve seen you nearly trample the birds around the feeder when you’re chasing your ball.
Kinsey: But I’m not trying to kill them, and I never do. That’s the difference. You want to kill birds.
Sammy: In my defense, it’s my natural instinct to go after birds. I get excited when they move fast like that.
Kinsey: Points an accusatory paw. So it WAS you!
Sammy: Looks around before starting to groom herself. Maybe. I plead the fifth.
Kinsey: The fifth what?
Sammy: I don’t know. It’s what the humans say on those TV shows Mom always watches.
Kinsey: Blows a raspberry. Bird killer.
Sammy: Carpet puker.
Long pause
Kinsey: I guess Teddy could have killed that bird. He’s allowed to go out in the yard alone now that he’s too fat to jump the fence.
Sammy: Well, I guess Cody could have puked on the carpet. The puke was yellow. That’s his color.
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Karen Duvall is an award-winning author with 4 published novels and 2 novellas. Harlequin Luna published her Knight’s Curse series last year, and her post apocalyptic novella, Sun Storm, was released in Luna’s ‘Til The World Ends anthology in January 2013.
Karen lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and four incredibly spoiled pets. She is currently working on a new contemporary fantasy romance series.
Ahhh a perfect “whodunit” mystery to be solved. My dog-dog, the beloved Blue the Weimaraner would support the assertion that it’s always the cat’s fault. Always. Or maybe the neighbor dog, Hunter, who is a young whippersnapper of annoying proportions, but that’s another tale.
And the mystery continues. I still don’t know who threw up on the carpet or who killed the bird. The bird may have just expired on its own. There was no visible trauma. But Sammy really did squirm out of her walker by twisting the latch free with her paw. The walker is a tunnel made with mesh netting and is about 6 feet long and 2 feet wide. We put the cats in it when we’re working in the yard so they can get some fresh air without endangering other wildlife. That’s the plan at least. Until one gets out, which has only happened once.
Now I’m having second thoughts about bringing home another kitty from the animal shelter…Katie already goes catatonic when one of the neighbor outdoor cats jumps the fence and sashays into our yard. If I had to put up with that bickering inside the house, I’d go nuts.
Yeah, cats can be funny that way. All 3 of mine usually get along fine, but sometimes Ted and Sam will have a mild altercation that involves a paw slap and a hiss or two. Otherwise they wrap themselves around each other and take a nap.