More awards, most of which no one has ever heard of.
Training involves writing sprints, editing marathons and lots of literary gymnastics.
Potential injuries include carpal tunnel, blurred vision and caffeine overdose.
Even when you win, you’re not sure why, but when you lose, it was definitely rigged.
Events take place in the corner of a bookstore and the only spectators are employees and your mom.
Highly regimented diet includes caffeine and alcohol. Food optional, must come from a crinkly bag.
Elite writers medal in multiple events: flash, short and long form.
Necessary equipment: typewriter, pen and paper or computer. Attire optional.
Endorsement deals from Bic and Post-It.
Opening ceremony concludes with blowing out the torch to signify the end of book burning.
No timed events. Everything is slow. Unless you are under deadline and then everything should have been completed yesterday.
Add your own in the comments . . .
Image by diema on Pixabay
Adoring fans wait in line for hours for a signature on their copy of your book! And Snoop Dog is at the front of the line, in a suit with Shakespeare quotes scribbled across it, wearing sunglasses made out of pencils.
How could I have overlooked Snoop?!