Writing Like I Read

My son was joking recently that he is addicted to sleeping (he and his wife have a new baby, which could partly account for this). My husband claimed his “addiction” is running. My reaction was immediate—my addiction is reading.

Reading calms and de-stresses me. It takes me away from my worries. I escape them by going to a fictional world where the characters have far different problems than mine. Problems that—depending on the genre—are often solved or at least resolved by the end of the book. Reading has helped me endure many negative experiences, from a miserable adolescence to the death of my father and the collapse of an early career. Not to mention hours of boredom and stress while waiting in lines, doctor offices and airports. Most importantly, reading led me to writing.

I think almost all fiction authors would say they came to writing through reading. Whether inspired by a book (or disgusted and convinced they can do better), a passion for reading usually provides the spark for starting that first novel.

In the beginning, writing was like reading: An escape. A pleasure. Although I always had the goal of finishing a book, I also got hooked on the process. Something seemed to happen to my brain when I wrote fiction. I was calmer. More optimistic. I found joy and delight in writing. Even though it was more difficult, I found writing fiction almost a better escape reading it. It took more concentration, but it also lingered in my brain longer.

For the most part, when I’m reading and I have to put down the book, I quickly return to the real world. But for years, when I was writing and it was really flowing, my characters and their situation would remain in my head. I’d think of them while falling asleep and again when I’d awake in the morning. Sometimes I dream about them. Staying in my characters’ world seemed to make it easier for me to cope with my own reality.

But somehow, over the years, I lost that intense connection to my characters and to their stories. Maybe it’s because I started to focus more and more on the goal of finishing the book and less on the process of writing it. Concentrating on the destination rather than the journey.

Joining writing groups like RMFW and being around other writers has been a wonderful thing for me. It’s given me great friends and provided amazing support. But it also changed my relationship to writing. When writers get together, we mostly talk about writing goals, met and unmet. We seldom talk about the joys and benefits of writing itself. The creative rush, the magic of a story unfolding in our minds and taking form on the page.

If I have a New Year’s resolution, it is this:  to write more the way I read. For escape, for satisfaction, to feed my soul. To recapture that pure, happy flow I once experienced.

It’s difficult to do. I’ve been writing fiction for over thirty years. And well over half of that time, I’ve been focusing on the end result. I’ve sought satisfaction in finishing books, rather than in writing them. I’ve lost my way, and I need to go back to the beginning. I need to find the happiness in writing that I always find in reading. I don’t read books for the goal of finishing them; I read them to experience the story. That’s why the pleasure of reading endures. I want to once again know the pleasure of writing.