By Peg Brantley
I was asked to write a guest post for RMFW shortly after my third book became a finalist for two awards. I was stoked. The post would be due shortly after the banquet for the first award and I joked that I’d write about what it felt like to lose. I had some Susan Lucci images banging around in my head I thought would be humorous.
And then I lost. Or perhaps more accurately, my book didn’t win. Not winning didn’t surprise me. The feeling of disappointment did. Suddenly there wasn’t too much humor in living my own version of a Susan Lucci life.
And then I remembered…
Once upon a time, a fearless little girl lived in my body. Peggy Ann dreamed little girl dreams and went after them with a sureness that startles me when I think about it today. Her parents told her she could do anything she wanted to do, and she believed them.
It took me decades to realize she'd gone missing.
When I tried to figure out where I had lost that gutsy dreamer, I determined there was no defining moment, although I’m fairly certain the concept of failure was involved. As far as I could tell, successful people didn't fail. Ever. Successful people won every award every time.
I can still hear my dad's voice: "If you're going to do something, do it right." Dad encouraged my sister and I in character building almost every day of our childhoods, so when he wasn't telling us we could be anything we wanted to be, he was telling us that a half-assed approach to things was not acceptable. At some point, I morphed "right" and "perfect" and adopted the philosophy that if I couldn't be perfect at something, I shouldn't do it at all. Not my dad’s fault. It just was.
It became easier to let dreams fade, even when the only way to let go was to turn by back. To walk away before I could once again be reminded I wasn't perfect. That way, I couldn't fail. Right? Mediocrity, a life without dreams, might be mundane but it would be a life without failure.
Then the concept we hear all the time, Nobody is Perfect, sat up serious shop in my brain. That’s when I realized when dreams are achieved, they’re achieved by imperfect people. Say what? Dreams are achieved by people who reach out of their imperfection to touch something bigger than they are. Who aren’t afraid to fail. Who consider winning as something within themselves, not outside themselves.
There’s one more award ceremony to attend. Although I might be disappointed, I will already be winning my dream.
So writers, whether you’re writing your first scene in your very first manuscript, or have an entire bookshelf that belongs to you, check your dreams. Polish ‘em up every once in awhile, and know that inside, because you’re reaching out, because you’re dreaming, you’re already a winner.
Peg’s third book, The Sacrifice, is a finalist for two 2014 Colorado literary awards.
You can learn more about Peg at http://www.pegbrantley.com or meet up with her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pegbrantleyauthorpage or follow her blog at http://www.suspensenovleist.blogstpot.com