Even a Monkey Can Write a Bestseller: An Easy Formula

Write Me!
Write Me!

Did that headline get your attention? Did you instant click in to read the rest of the post? Or did you scoff, throwing your hands in the air, saying “there is no formula to a bestseller.”

When I read the PW Weekly article, What Makes a Bestseller? Two SMP Authors Say They Know the Formula. I opted for number 2. Not literary, you weirdo.

Then I read more. Could it be true? It looks like they did the research, reading and studying over 20,000 manuscripts.

The formula (according to the research provided in the PW article):

  • Three acts
  • Everyday language
  • Show don’t tell

I bet you read the above, and thought, like I did, crap. I already know this. It’s the advice of every writing instructor. Of every workshop. Of every writer I know. Find me a writer that doesn’t believe in everyday language, and I’ll show you a reader who fades into obscurity. Sure, the article uses bigger words and is written by people who’ve actually hit the bestseller list by using that formula, but the content is the same.

This is nothing new to us.

So why aren’t I a bestseller?

Because NOT every book can be, whether it follows this formula or not. There is something to be said for luck in our business. It’s who you know, and when. So let me add to this formula, two things. Write more. And know the players. Be they agents, editors, or book reviewers. Know the game as well. Know how to publish.

See you on the bestseller list. Remember who gave you the formula to get there. No, it was me. Not the PW article. Dang it!

Do you have other means of hitting the lists?

J.A. (Julie) Kazimer
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J.A. (Julie) Kazimer is a writer living in Denver, CO. Books include The Junkie Tales, The Body Dwellers, CURSES! A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale, Holy Socks & Dirtier Demons, Dope. Sick. Love. SHANK, Froggy Style, The Assassin's Heart, The Fairyland Murders & The Lady in Pink - Deadly Ever After Mysteries.

5 thoughts on “Even a Monkey Can Write a Bestseller: An Easy Formula

  1. Know the game. Very good advice. I know in my literary journey I have tried to be warm and helpful to most. This has paid off in a couple of ways. I know people who can help me market, an author with a friend who writes literary articles for HuffingtonPost, I’ve been introduced to a couple of small publishers. All of this will help my book, but I got to finish it, first.

  2. Make friends, lots of friends, friends who have agents and editors who are open to referrals, friends who know people, friends who have people of their own, friends who will feature your posts on their extremely popular blogs…and you must write very good books, of course.

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