Tag Archives: J.A. Kazimer

How to Get Away with Murder (Non-TV Show Edition)

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

From the title you’d guess that I was about to tell you how to murder someone. But I’m not. At least not really. This post is about reality in fiction.

No, really dear NSA (who can still read my meta data, or is that my mind thanks to the Patriot Act renewal). I’m not plotting to kill anyone.

I promise *wink, wink*

Anyway…. I recently asked my facebook writer friends, which I truly hope you are one of (if not, why not? I don’t smell that bad and I can be fun. No really. Ask anyone. If you’d like to become one, please do so at www.facebook.com/JulieAKazimer), about using a fictional fact in a story.

More to the point, I wanted to lie about something. Something insignificant but what appeared factual in this story. Basically, I planned on saying Washington DC had the third most surveillance cameras in the world. This is a lie. They’re not even close. In fact, the third most cameras belongs to…drum roll…Chicago. Not surprising with the amount of Bears there. Number two is London, and number one is Beijing in case you ever need to know, which goes back to the title. Damn, I guess I was offering advice on how to avoid a murder charge.

I was surprised by the response of my fellow writers. Many said, hey, it’s fiction so do what you want. This was my thinking at the time. But a far greater number of writers responded with, “WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?” To which I said, “Maybe, but what’s your point?”

And boy did they have a point.

As a reader, I sometimes believe and then tell others ‘facts’ I read in a novel. Now I’m not talking about story ‘facts’ but little bits of research-y (yes, I just made up my own word. It’s my blog post, so there) ones like how everybody on a white, sandy beach gets their own cabaña boy.

Oh, how I long for a cabana boy.

But that’s another post for another day.

So what’s your opinion? Can I lie about the amount of cameras? Or would I be leading my flock (that’s what I’d love for all of you to start calling yourself. No. Really. That would make my year) astray? Where’s the line between fiction and reality in fiction? Or the reverse, how much fiction can you put in non-fiction or memoir?

Oh, and if you murder anyone in Chicago because of my advice, let’s just call that ‘our’ little secret.

J.A. (Julie) Kazimer lives in Denver, CO. Novels include CURSES! A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale, Holy Socks & Dirtier Demons, Dope Sick: A Love Story and FROGGY STYLE as well as the forthcoming book, The Assassin’s Heart. J.A. spent years spilling drinks as a bartender and then stalked people while working as a private investigator. For more about Julie, visit her website.

Never Let Them See You Sweat: Hot Chicks in Leather

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

According to The Wall Street Journal (my go to for all bookie news. No, really. I only look at the pictures), “On the average, a book store browser spends eight seconds looking at the front cover and 15 seconds looking at the back cover.”

What does that mean for an author?  Well, chances are if you are an urban fantasy or paranormal romance writer, your book cover will feature a chick dressed in black leather, even if your story takes place in the middle of the desert.

Don’t get me wrong. Like any girl I love tight black leather and heels. I often spend my nights dressed in the form fitting stuff and carrying extremely heavy weapons halfway tucked in my pants.

What girl doesn’t?

And we're not even discussing how one washes black leather catsuits. A secret only a dry cleaner knows.

But I digress (something I seem to do a lot around you people), my point is do these dark, sexy covers do more harm than good for authors and readers alike.

As a reader have you ever hid the cover of the book you were currently enjoying?

Ever felt ashamed of a book because of the hot chick in leather on the cover or the muscle bound hunk smeared in oil (baby not olive, I assume)?

Or have you ever picked up a book strictly because of the hot chick on the cover? Did the tale live up to the artwork?

Authors complain a lot about their covers, from little things like my main character has red hair and the woman on the cover is a blonde, to a publisher actually changing the race of the character on a cover in order to sell books to a wider demographic, a disgusting practice, but one done more often than we know.

So my question to you, my writer/readers is, do hot chicks in leather sell books? And what are some of your cover art experiences, both good and bad?

 

Want a free ebook? Visit me at jakazimer.com. Want to send me graphic pics and talk trash on social media? Friend me on Facebook or tweet me on twitter.  Please. Pretty please.

Long Live the Oldest Profession: Pimping Your Book

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

Since none of my previous published novels have hit the bestseller lists, for which I blame you (you know who you are), I decided to try a new marketing approach for The Fairyland Murders – Blog Tours. Not the kind I set up for myself, on blogs I’d visited seven times already, with people already sick to death of me (again, you know who you are), but blog tours arranged by PR companies who specialize in this sort of thing.

People in the know. People willing to pimp my book for a small monitory gain.

I started to hatch my evil…I mean, marketing plan by typing in a quick google search for just these sort of companies. I found a surprising amount of them, each who boasted of great results for former blog tour authors. Determined to break out of my midlist funk, I settled one three of the big ones.

The first one I emailed offered a package deal for $99, including a facebook party launch. I filled out the form and waited. And waited. And waited. Luckily for me I hadn’t sent over the requested $99 via paypal yet. I finally heard back from them a week later. They claimed my form had gone to junk mail. Sure, that happens, so I wasn’t too concerned. Until my second email to their representative had the same result. If they couldn’t get back with me, imagine how the blog tour would go? I quickly moved on to blog book tour company 2.

At least they emailed me back within a day.

That is about all I can say was going for them. I opted for a book blast tour costing $50. Now it was encouraged that I also offer a gift card reward for those commenting as well as hosting my book blast. A goodwill gesture. I’m all for goodwill. I get that these bloggers’ time is worth something. They were doing me a favor after all.

Then again, when the tour happened, I felt sort of sleazy. Like the tour was set up merely to win this gift card, for blogger and commenter alike. Not that there were many commenters. In fact, on at least 75% of the blogs, the only comment was a thank you for hosting from the blog tour company. The remaining 25% had one or two other comments.

Not quite what I'd expected.

Which brings me to blog tour company 3. This one seemed to be the most organized, and yet, when it was all said and done, my money wasn’t well spent again. These blog readers weren’t in it to learn about new books, but rather to win free stuff. Not that I mind giving it away, but I’d like to give it away to people actually interested in what I had to say or at the very least in books.

Now I didn’t post this to whine, but rather to offer this bit of advice. Marketing is all about taking risks. I’m not sad that I tried this blog tour approach. I’m glad I did. Now I know for next time it doesn’t pay to use these companies. What does work, is setting up my own guest posts with blogs. Trying new and different things will keep you interested in your own marketing, and that will make for a happier author and readers.

Has anyone had a different experience when using a blog tour company?

Setting Up Your Goals – Make Your Bed and Lie in it!

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

If you’re anything like me, and I know you are, your New Year’s resolution lasted until January 3rd. The 2nd if it involved not eating cake. Thankfully, for the sake of humanity, most of our writerly resolutions do not involve the consumption of baked goods.

However, they do include the dreaded word resolution, thereby dooming us yet again this year to failure. Therefore, I prefer to look at the start of each New Year as an opportunity to, a) eat lots of cake and b) set writerly goals rather than making resolutions I will never stick to, merely for the fact, it contains that vile word.

Goals are much less concrete to me, a place I’d like to be rather than meeting some expectation or commitment (and now you see why I’ve never been or will ever be married). Expectations equate to failure. Goals equate to trying your very best. Yes, it’s merely my own warped version of the same song, but it does help me accept and make new goals.

So my goals for this year are:

1) Write every day.

Yep. I blew that one by day 5. Now if I felt like this was a resolution, I’d simply give up and write like I normally do, which is whenever I feel like it. Since it’s a goal, I can easily get back on track.

2) Expand my marketing efforts.

By this I mean, I want to try new marketing avenues. I love facebook, but it’s never done me any good as a marketing tool. Therefore, I am no longer going to expend my energy on it (as a means of marketing, instead I will use it for my enjoyment as it was meant to be used, that and for whining about sports teams, mother-in-laws, and plagues). I’m going to look at more guerilla marketing based tricks. I might be sharing more depending on how things go.

3) Finish the manuscripts I have waiting on my desktop.

Remember that vampire/zombie interstellar romance you wrote 10 years ago? No? Me…neither. Stupid concept…Anyway, some books are left half written because they suck. But others, like a few I’ve abandoned over the years, are good books that just needed more time to percolate. This year I am getting out the red pen and working on those manuscripts.

How about you? What are your goals for this year? What would you like to do more of (if you had the time)?

One Last Post of 2014 — Ten Things I Learned This Year

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

Here’s the deal. I am the sort of writer who has to be smacked in the head ten times before I finally learn. But I do learn. Eventually. I learned a lot of writerly things this past year, some good, some not so great. But they are lessons I feel that are worthy of sharing with my fellow writers

1)   Never agree to write more books than you can in a certain time.

Like I need to tell you that. But I do need to remind myself of this time and again. I agreed that I would write two books in one year. Both books suffered and I am now suffering through rewrites on the last one. So yes, Virginia, while there is a Santa Claus, there’s also a deadline devil.

2)   If you don’t write, you won’t have a finished book.

Again, what kind of idiot doesn’t already know this? Me for one. I don’t write daily, but I should. That’s how words get on a page. Weirdly it’s not through osmosis, though I try and try my best to ignore that fact.

3)   Your career will have ups and downs.

This one I really hate. When The Assassin’s Heart came out in March, and then received RT Book Reviews top pick honor for April, I was flying high. This was the first time I’d received such recognition, and it showed in sales. Now it’s December, the sales have flattened, and a new book, The Fairyland Murders, has just been released. It’s time to start all over again…

4)   Your job never ends.

Forget the best part of writing, writing, and let’s focus on the never ending part—Marketing. Every day in every way, you are putting yourself into the world. No matter where you are in your publishing journey, you should be putting yourself in the world. Whether that’s on social media, writing articles, or talking to others, it doesn’t matter, you are showing potential readers who you are and hopefully engaging them enough to read your stuff.

5)   Publishing is not a one road trip.

There are a variety of ways to publish nowadays. Learn about each, no matter what your current path is.

6)    Write what you don’t know.

We’ve all heard the saying, writer what you know. Which is good advice. But I prefer the idea of write whatever you want. If you want to write dinosaur erotic (and I’m guessing you have never slept with a dinosaur), then write it the best you can. Write what you want. Otherwise, the process can be a chore.

7)    Celebrate the victories.

This one is huge. I have a hard time celebrating the good things. I hate the limelight. So I tend to not to revel in my victories like when a book is published. In fact, I did nothing for the last two releases. I didn’t even sneak a piece of chocolate. Messed up, I know. That won’t be the case again. My next victory, whatever it may be, will be celebrated. I’ll pop the champagne cork. I’ll tell strangers on the street. I’ll go out to a nice dinner, and hold the wait staff hostage as I share my news. This is a tough business, so enjoy the good things, no matter how small you think they are.

8)  And finally, never tell readers that you will give them 10 things when you only have 7 1/2.

What can I say? I’m a slacker. Why don’t you help me out by giving us some of the lessons you will take with you into the New Year.

Go!

 

Hope you had a great 2014 and will have an even better 2015!

You can find me online at www.jakazimer.com or more often on facebook or on twitter as @jakazimer.

Lessons Learned: Words Hurt Your Career

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

In case you hadn’t heard, and really how could you not have since I’ve begged everyone to The Fairyland Murders_ebook (1)notice, that I have a new novel coming out…well…yesterday. The Fairyland Murders hit the streets and all of the publishing world is abuzz. Reviews are coming in. Newspapers are asking for interviews. Readers are smiling in anticipation of spending the entire night reading.

In my fantasy world.

In the real world, it’s more like a slight blip on anyone’s radar. The publishing world is hardly abuzz with my name, let alone excited by anything but the promise of two weeks off at the end of the month. Newspapers can’t ask for interviews because they don’t exist anymore.

But I hold out hope for those readers, the ones who wait months for a release. I’m that kind of gal. I pre-order than mark it on my calendar so I know when it will pop up (at 1am) on my kindle.

But this isn’t going to be a rant on how no one loves me.

Today’s post was going to be on what I’ve learned since 2012 when CURSES! first came out. Trust me, it’s a lot. But something else came on to my radar that I think might be more important to talk about.

What is appropriate for us writers to say and NOT to say on social media.

In case you haven’t read recently about a certain writer’s twitter blowup when her book didn’t make the 2014 most notable list. Now a couple of things came to mind when I read her response. The first was, though I hate to admit it, yeah, well mine didn’t either so what makes you so special? Then I started to think of all the writers behaving badly things we’re seen over the last five years. And how many writers refuse to get personal on social media and all the articles that say we shouldn’t discuss anything on social media we wouldn’t discuss over a nice dinner.

I suggest if you agree with that advice, when I invite you over for (pre-made) dinner, you say no. Yes, I see why people offer this advice, and why many writers think social media is akin to standing outside in your underwear flagging passing by cars over while singing tunes from The Sound of Music. Again, I get it. TMI is all around, especially at the dinner table when sat at the adult table and Aunt Mary discusses her latest colonoscopy results…in vivid, mind shearing detail.

However, social media proves that individuals have power. That, whether their individual voice is heard or not, documenting the world matters. In good and bad ways. If you’re not on social media or if you are and are afraid to post personal stuff, please don’t be. Yes, no one wants to hear about your colon I detail, but knowing a little about you and your personality is a good thing…until you go off the deep end, and then we can point and laugh. After all, life is about jeering your peers.

What social media lessons have you learned? How do you feel about writers behaving badly on social media? What is our responsibility to our readers?

My List of Writerly Thanks-Giving

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

Through the span of my writing career, which started in 2006 when I started pursuing the dream of fame and fortune based solely on my ability to make shit up (yeah, I quickly realized my mistake) I’ve been given so much. And this post is a thank you for so many things, and for so many people.

I’m thankful each day for the books I’ve loved and hated over the years. Each and every one has given me more than I can ever say. In many ways, I don’t think I would be who or where I am if I hadn’t been given the gift of being a reader.

I’m thankful for the writers who put their words on paper/computer screen. Whether they are published, pre-published, or write in a journal daily. Each time someone writes, I am thankful (as long as they don’t become famous and rich, those ones I really hate).

Aaron Ritchey recently posted a comment on my facebook saying, “What we do matters”. Until that moment I hadn’t realized how right he is. Can you think of all the ways in which writers impact you daily? How your life would be different if books didn’t exist. Terrifying, right?

So thank you, you wonderful wordsmiths.

Thank you also to my tribe(s). I joined RMFW in 2008. I’ve met wonderful writers from every genre and walk of life. We are a group built on the love of words. What more could you ask for in your friends?

I’m thankful for those editors and my agent for believing enough in what I write to keep me doing so. And for making me sound so much better than I do in the draft I send them.

Thanks to this RMFW blog. I enjoy every post by our fabulous regular contributors: Karen Duvall, Mary Gillgannon, Jeffe Kennedy, Katriena Knights, Liesa Malik, Pamela Nowak, Colleen Oakes, Robin D. Owens, Aaron Michael Ritchey, Kerry Schafer, Susan Spann, Jeanne C. Stein, Mark Stevens and Kevin Paul Tracy. They all rock. But none of this would be possible without the most awesome Patricia Stoltey. Pat is not only editor extraordinaire for this blog, but the founder too. Without her we would never have learned so much about writing and living as a writer from the contributors.

Thank you to the readers of this blog too. You all make me so happy. I love reading your comments, love learning more about you. So thank you to those who comment and to those who read us. I hope you will continue to so we can all learn how to be even better at what we do.

And finally, I am most thankful for readers. I’m not just talking about my readers, though you all are the best, coolest, smartest readers around…No, I’m talking about everyone who loves books. Who loves to spend their time lost in another world. Who would eat cat food in order to afford the newest release from their favorite author.

Who and what are you thankful for this writerly thanks-giving?

 

Come visit me at www.jakazimer.com or better yet, friend me on facebook.

Winning Advice from a LOSER

By J.A. (Julie) Kazimer

I’m a loser.

(Hey…even though I can’t see it, nodding in agreement is not very nice).

Let me change that a bit. I am a NaNoWriMo loser. A multiple one. I’ve played for five years, finally taking a break this year in order to keep my sanity. I’ve never won. Never came close unless you count 30k close.

For those who live under a rock, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, which happens each November. A bunch of crazy people each writes a whole 50k novel in a month.  Yes, a WHOLE FREAKING NOVEL. Are these people crazy? Well, yes, they are writers so that’s a given.

However, these writers are also my heroes. Win or lose. Anyone willing to try and write a novel in a month deserves respect.

If you’re one of these crazy writers, I have some advice for ways to keep sane over the next month.

  • Don’t worry if you’re not on the road to a win. It’s not like you win a prize at the end (the web badge aside)…you know, other than satisfaction and self-fulfillment. Like that means anything in this business.
  • Even though it feels like everyone in the world is getting more words, don’t ever judge your count by others. We each have our own pace. Some people get to the saggy middle and hit a brick wall. Others run toward the end at full force, and after typing the end realize they have a steaming pile of NaNo. And others will hit 50k with a week to spare. Damn them. I, on the other hand, hit 50k about six full months later.
  • NaNo is the perfect time to try new things, to stretch your writerly muscle. Normally write vampire sagas? Why not try an action adventure cat story? Experiment. Be brave. Be reckless. Be the writer you were meant to be or at least copy someone you love.
  • Leave your expectations on October 31. While I hope you write the best novel ever, the odds are, in a month, the pace alone is going to make this novel less than perfect as a draft. We need time to dream; time to arrange plotlines and characterizations in our minds, to percolate on what comes next. That’s why we spend so much time staring at the ceiling not wearing pants. At least this is what I tell my family and friends. So after you hit your 50k, and are feeling damn good, take time to congratulate yourself and then put the novel away while your mind has a chance to mull it over.
  • Don’t rush to publish. December and January finds a mess (literally) of NaNo novels popping up on indie pub sites. While I respect indie publishing, there is something to be said for the amount of time traditional publishing takes. The process of editing and revision, cover design, copy editing, formatting and uploading takes time. I’m not suggesting you wait 2 years like a traditional publisher, just don’t hurry the needs of your work. Same goes for querying. Honor what you’ve accomplished by making it the best it can be.

I could list plenty other tidbits from the NaNo trenches, but you don’t have time to read them. You need to hit your word count. Heck, what are you even doing wasting time reading this?

If you’re participating in NaNo, please share your username and your word count so far. I’d love to see your progress, and maybe we can get a RMFW support group by friending each other.

Best of luck!

To all those who’ve served in the armed forces, thank you for your service on this Veteran’s Day.

 

Check out my website at www.jakazimer.com or friend me on facebook.

Five Reasons Why J.A. Kazimer is Better Than Me

By Aaron Ritchey

Many of you know J.A. Kazimer’s normal persona, but this blog post isn’t about J.A. Kazimer the person, it’s about J.A. Kazimer the RMFW scion, the writerly icon, the literary messiah! This is about the Platonic ideal of J.A. Kazimer.

I first met her in Colorado Springs many years ago and right away I was immensely impressed by her quiet awesomeness.  So yes, I didn't come to bury J.A. Kazimer, only to praise her.  Here are five ways J.A. Kazimer is intrinsically better than me:

  1. NETWORKING EMPRESS – When I hit the doors of a conference, I am loud, outlandish, an explosion of personality. Yeah, I somehow make that work, but Kazimer’s way is far less showy, but also effective. She talks to people and listens to them, which is the key to networking. Asking questions, listening to the answers, and making connections with people. Kazimer does this so effectively you suddenly just love her. She is proof you don’t have to be an extrovert in a loud suit to network well.
  2. MARKETING MAGICIAN – When her first book, CURSES! came out, she started up a series on her blog called “The New Never News - Your #1 Source of Fairytale News,” and you could tell she had a great time writing about current events in Fairytale land. At the same time, I went to her release party where she had killer swag and a grand guest list, but she wasn’t exactly thrilled to be in the spotlight. This proves she can do the stuff she likes and she can do the stuff she might not be comfortable with, but that’s the marketing game. A little sweet. A little sour.
  3. QUERYING GODDESS – The real reason why I adore J.A. Kazimer is that she encouraged me to query agents and editors. I would write all the time, but I was too afraid to send stuff out. Not her. She actually posted on Facebook she missed the querying process. She is a warrior! And why not? Querying is all about the possibility of wonder and success. It should be an exciting process, and Kazimer embraced it so much she actually misses the process. Yes, ladies and gentleman, she is agented, which is quite the feat nowadays.
  4. INSPIRATION GURU – So Kazimer writes books for Kensington, she writes Indie stuff, but she is out there, working, struggling, playing the game. I find that amazingly inspiring, so when I get frustrated, I just ask myself, what would J.A. Kazimer do? The answer is write books and get them published by any means necessary.
  5. ACCOMPLISHED AUTHOR – So not only can she do the marketing and work it takes to be an author in the 21st century, she can also deliver goods. Her book, The Assassin’s Heart, is a Gold Top Pick by RT Book Reviews! Just to brag about her a little, the reviewer says, “Not only is this novel sassy and fun, but the author’s research into the CIA and the life of an assassin is reflected in her work, making it not just a fabulous romantic suspense tale, but a fantastic work of fiction, period.”

At the end of the day, I hope this blog post embarrasses the hell out of J.A. Kazimer, but too many times in this long road to writerly success, we have to toot our own horns, talk about our stuff like it’s God’s gift to the English language, and shake our moneymakers. I wanted to shine a light on a soldier in the field because she truly is a wonderful human being and one of the best folks I’ve met on this utterly strange, literary journey I’m on.

 

 

Different Voices Create a Beautiful Blog

By Patricia Stoltey

I feel like someone pulled me through a knothole backwards.

I took a little time off last week and went to visit family in Illinois. And I went unplugged for five days. The five days was great. Now I’m suffering the consequences.

My To Do list is so long I’m as jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I wake up in the middle of the night, thinking of something I forgot to add to the list.

Because I was out of town, the young lady who helps me keep the house from looking like a total disaster couldn’t come, so when my critique group met at my house last night, they had to wade through the clutter and pretend not to notice the dust.

Thank goodness they had no reason to look in my refrigerator or freezer. The ice cream has whiskers and there are unidentified things in containers and plastic bags that might have developed teeth and claws.

I’ve already read all that stuff from the time management gurus. They might as well try to teach me how to milk ducks.

Okay, so those colorful little phrases about knotholes, cats, whiskers, and ducks are not mine. They were swiped from my paternal grandmother who had a fun way of describing her world. That’s her voice, not mine.

That’s where I’m at today. Stealing words from my grandmother because we should have had a guest blogger in this slot.

Instead, you have me.

And that leads me to the point of this whole post.

The Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers blog has a team of regular contributors, each with his or her own point of view and unique voice. We also leave dates open each month so we can host RMFW members who want to make a guest appearance to talk about a pet topic, promote a new book, or share writing life experiences. It’s another way we can introduce members to each other (and to the world) between conferences and workshops. That variety of voices blends in a beautiful chorus that describes our organization and our writing lives better than any one writer could.

Starting in January 2015, we’ll have quite a few of those guest spots to fill (two in January and more in February and beyond). If you’d like to be a guest, contact me at patriciastoltey (at) yahoo.com or Julie Kazimer at jkazimer (at) msn.com.

Plan ahead, because we try to fill the calendar a month or two in advance.

You don’t want us feeling like that long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, do you?