6 Weasel Words to Cut from Your Manuscript

For the past three years, I’ve had the honor of being a first-round judge for the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers annual Colorado Gold novel contest. This means I get to read and critique other writers’ first chapters and synopses. Every year, I’m amazed at how much I learn from analyzing these works, from plot structure to dialogue to the nitty-gritty word choices writers make.

One thing that caught my eye this year was weasel words. Weasel words are common crutch words that take up space and dilute the power of your work. Most of us suffer from at least a few of these. The good news is, once you know which words to look for, you can start trimming them from your manuscript and strengthening your writing. Here are six to get you started.

Don’t do that

I’ve seen several writers who have a love affair with that. This applies to all kinds of writing: novels, short stories, personal essays, blog posts. In most cases, it’s an unnecessary word that clogs up your writing and slows down the reading experience. Search your digital document for that, and start cutting—you’ll be amazed at how much clearer and stronger your work feels.

Wait, when?

I’ve witnessed too many sentences beginning with time cues. Then is by far the worst offender.

He whined, “But I need to show this sentence is happening after the previous sentence!” 
Then the blogger slapped him.

Ninety percent of the time, you don’t need then because it’s obvious the event is happening after the last event. Similarly, you can often cut words like now, finally, suddenly, and usually.

All the things

This is one of my personal crutch words. I like to describe things in terms of, well, things. Something, anything, and nothing are a problem for two reasons. One, they cause tiresome repetition of the word thing. Two, they’re a shortcut that reduces specificity. Specificity helps the reader visualize the scene and stay engaged, while vagueness weakens your story.

Something about his face made her uneasy.

This is lazy writing. Spend a few extra seconds determining what exactly makes your character uneasy. The glint in his eye? The wolfish smile? The swastika tattoo on his forehead? Now you can make your description more specific while cutting the unnecessary thing at the same time.

Filtering words

Filtering happens when you filter the experience of your story through your POV character’s senses. Words like see, hear, think, feel, and smell (and their various tenses) are dead giveaways. Filtering stretches the distance between the narrator and the reader, making the scene feel less immersive.

I saw a helicopter, a black smudge in the smoky sky. As it approached, I heard the chopping of its propeller blades.

Cut the filtering words and rewrite the sentence so it makes sense. You’ll find action feels more immediate this way, and description feels more vivid.

The black smudge of a helicopter appeared in the smoky sky. The chopping of its propeller blades grew louder as it approached.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda

Like filtering, words like would, could, and should add narrative distance and feel repetitive.

I shouldn’t have jumped off the swing, I thought. I couldn’t feel my legs.

In many cases, you can cut these words. And because these words are shortcuts to a character’s opinions, cutting them often imbues your writing with more voice.

Where had I gotten the idea to jump off that swing? My legs felt numb as rubber.

Adverbs

As Stephen King famously said, “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” Too often writers get lazy and use adverbs as a shortcut. Instead of taking the time to find the perfect verb, they stick an adverb on a generic verb and call it a day. When the adverbs begin to stack up, frequent repetition of the -ly suffix becomes a distraction to readers.

“I can’t believe you!” she said loudly.
He opened the door and angrily walked out.

Replace modified verbs with stronger, unmodified ones. When it comes to dialogue tags, you may not need a verb at all, as the dialogue itself often gets the message across.

“I can’t believe you!”
He threw the door open and stormed out.

All together, now

Here’s an example incorporating all the types of weasel words we’ve discussed:

I think that cutting weasel words is an important step in the revision process. It’s something that I usually save for the final polish. If you try it, then you could greatly improve your writing. 

The revised version:

Cutting weasel words is an important step in the revision process. I save it for the final polish. Give it a try, and you’ll strengthen your writing.

So start cutting! Your manuscript won’t miss these weasel words.

Which weasel words do you struggle with? Are there any I’ve missed? Let me know in the comments!