Heavy. I’m hearing this word frequently amongst my friends, as in “Everything feels so heavy right now,” and I agree. Be it the cold and dark weather, the turmoil and tragedies happening across the country and globe, or simply holiday hangover, we’re all searching for some lightness. Until recently, I found mine at the gym. I understand endorphins improve mood, but it’s always been more than that. Exercise feels like something I can control—the quantifiable intervals, reps and weight—whenever chaos descends all around. Of course, as in most areas of life, the control is an illusion. Despite all my best intentions and practices, another injury leaves me pained, limited and frustrated. I’m working with a doctor, personal trainer and physical therapist to target muscle imbalance, skeletal misalignment and connective tissue disorder flares when all I really want to do is dance, lift and stretch the way I used to without fear of further injury. But for now, I’m trying to keep things light. When my body hurts, I know to slow down and demand less of myself. As challenging as that is, the same discipline of awareness and care is even harder to implement with regards to mental and emotional health. I am safe “on an organism level” as a therapist friend likes to say, but as we humans operate on much more complex planes of existence both individually and in community, I can’t always logic my way out from under a sense of compressing dread.
If you too struggle with this feeling of heaviness, I invite you to try something simple yet radical called Attention Liberation. In much the same way I’m restricting the amount of weight I lift right now, we can all limit the time and energy we expend on things that do not serve us. For a lot of us, that may be social media. If doom-scrolling and online trolling impact your ability to concentrate, here are a few tips other writers shared with me.
- Delete all social media apps from your phone periodically
- Set limits on days/times you allow yourself to access social media (Opal is one screen time control app to try)
- Ask someone else (or pay a professional if you can) to run your professional account(s)
- Just stop. Show them you’re “more than just a piece in their Games.” (Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games)
If you do decide to exit social media entirely, this article will help you retrieve all your photos.
What else are you carrying? Maybe your attention needs liberation from endless news cycles, family drama or petty gossip. Or perhaps its negative reviews, sales figures and rejection emails you need a break from right now. Your feelings around these things may not change, but limiting the attention you pay them clears space for other activities, like reading and writing books you love. Writer and activist Adrienne Maree Brown follows this one guiding principle: “I gift my attention to those things I want to see grow in the world.”
Before gifting anything (or anyone) your precious attention, ask yourself: Who is this helping? Who is it hurting? How will things change if I turn my focus elsewhere?
We all carry things we cannot abandon for various reasons. Give yourself permission to take tiny breaks. Try letting go for a little longer each time. And if you need a place to escape or vent, there’s always that next novel, short story or flash piece. Who knows, maybe your characters will carry the idea or feeling so far and so well that it will never feel as heavy again.
