Cow Patties – how to keep writing when life gets messy

            When life gets messy. Hmm, if ever there was a time for that, we’re certainly living it now.

            I wrote about this several years ago, and it seems timely to bring it back for a second look. Back then, one of my friends posted an interesting question: “How do you guys keep writing when life tosses you cow patties and you don’t have a catcher’s mitt?”

            What a good question! In an ideal world, we would all have a spacious office with limitless bookshelves, an inspirational view, a comfortable chair and a virus-free computer (and world)! Our children would efficiently feed themselves, keep their rooms neat, and do their homework without nagging. Said children would never have crises, family pets would never bite the mailman or soil the carpet or run away from home. And long-distance relatives would never make their problems yours.

            But life happens, and cow patties fly. There are class B cow patties, distracting problems of the everyday variety, and there are class A cow patties, serious life problems that rattle our serenity and take emotional prisoners (including the muse) along the way.

            When life tosses us these messy scenarios, we can still keep writing. Here’s how to keep those words flowing despite the distracting challenges life sends our way.

            Class B cow patties are more easily managed.  For these we can:

• catch them, dispose of them properly and wash our hands

            One strategy is to create and maintain a daily journal. Start each day with the date, and record three important goals you’d like to achieve. As interruptions and distractions take you from those goals, record what they are. Examples might be an unexpected phone call from chatty brother, one hour. An electrician arrives to wire a new addition, thirty-five minutes. Or you slipped down the rabbit hole with email and lost track of the time. Two hours. Whatever it is, account for your time for a week.  See where those flying patties are emanating, and . . . 

• dodge them. Run away from home. The library, or even just outside on the deck. Leave the phone inside, or, if you must bring it with you, use caller ID to screen the calls. If this brings feelings of guilt, consider it a planning strategy and set aside fifteen minutes every two hours to return calls. This way, you’re the master of your time. You’re handling your distractions, rather than the other way around.
• let them dry on the concrete and use them for fuel. When family and loved ones call, keep your note pad handy. Story ideas come from everywhere. If you’re invited to do so, offer reassurances and solutions, and cut the conversation short. You have an appointment. You do, you know. You have an appointment to write. Guard your time. Assure your family member or friend that you will give some thought to their dilemma and get back to them if you think of anything new. 

            The Class A level of cow patties requires more planning and self-control.

            Speaking for myself, I find much of my “Class A cow patty” material comes in the form of a needy family. Otherwise independent children hit speed bumps and need help. Our parents’ aging-related problems surface and we want to solve or minimize them.

            For stickier cow patty problems like family bickering and unexpected crises, try to isolate the anxiety and worrying. I turn to my daily calendar and reserve a time for dealing with the problem. I’ll say to myself, “Okay, this problem isn’t going to go away. It has to be dealt with.” We can allocate sorry time. If I reserve 1 to 2 p.m. for addressing the problem, for example, it frees my mind for the rest of the time because I’ve set aside that time to solve or lessen it. That helps.

            And I apply Deepak Chopra’s philosophy of not judging, of just accepting the situation. It simply “is.” If I don’t invest too much emotion judging other people’s actions, I have more energy to find solutions.

            I hope some of these ideas are helpful. To accomplish what we want in our lives, we need to save time for ourselves. I never used to, but somewhere along the line I realized that if I don’t care about my life and my goals, no one else will, either. Communicate that you care about your life and goals. Reinforce that message with the way you spend your time and they’ll eventually understand and hopefully accept it. Having accomplished that, you will have definitely dodged the major cow patties that threaten to keep you from your manuscript pages.