DEEP POV Lesson 7 – Deixis (Pointing Words)

When we’re writing in DEEP POV, we are inside the head of the character. That character is in the center of his own world. This is where this deixis (pronounced DIKE-SIS) stuff comes in. By the way, if you want to get really confused, Google deixis and skim through the first few links. OY!

I will try to explain the concept, but for me, it was easier to just see examples.

This is one definition: Deixis is reference by means of an expression whose interpretation is relative to the (usually) extralinguistic context of the utterance, such as: who is speaking, the time or place of speaking, the gestures of the speaker, or the current location in the discourse.

SEE WHAT I MEAN???

If I’m understanding the concept, it’s all about who’s speaking – the character or the observer. At least for our purposes, we’re going to say this is what it means.

Is the phrasing you’re using describing the action on the page from the perspective of the author or from inside the character?

Here’s an example:

Sue glanced around the room at the disaster left behind from the party the night before.

Or:

Sue glanced around the room at the disaster left behind from last night’s party.

See the difference?

Here are some more examples:

This vs. that:
That was what he’d wanted since he was a kid.
This was what he’d wanted since he was a kid.

There vs. here:
He meandered down to the beach. There was where he’d fallen in love with her.
He meandered down to the beach. Here was where he’d fallen in love with her.

He was born in Chicago. He’d been there all his life.
He was born in Chicago. He’d been here all his life.

Now, soon, today, tomorrow, last night:
The next day would probably be even worse than this one.
Tomorrow would probably be even worse than today.

Come vs. go:
The spider was going closer to her foot.
The spider was coming closer to her foot.

A vs. the:
Jon saw the blue car parked down the block.
Jon saw a blue car parked down the block.

In this example from that hockey romance book, I did both:

Sunday morning dawned dark and rainy; the sunshine of the day before was just a memory. Jamie stretched and reminisced. She almost hummed to herself. Could yesterday have been more perfect?

Here’s a paragraph to play with. Make it DEEP:

She’d been right. When she walked into the hotel lobby, Jeff was nowhere to be seen. Several of the hotel employees filtered through the group, giving everyone the keys to the rooms they had been in before. Word of the airport closing had come early enough that the rooms had been left in the names of whomever had them the night before. The keys had been put in envelopes with everyone’s names on them.

This is a very subtle thing, and I wouldn’t spend a great deal of time worrying about it. I think the yesterday/day before one is the most useful. Take what you can and file the rest away.

Cheers, Jax