Deep POV Lesson 8 – Anchoring Words

One inherent problem with DEEP POV is the possible awkwardness of being deep in Scarlett’s POV and having to add what’s going on in Rhett’s head. Of course, Scarlett is not omniscient, and neither is your book’s POV. So Scarlett can only interpret Rhett’s thoughts through her five senses:

Scarlett knew Rhett was angry. His fists clenched and unclenched, and an angry blush flooded his cheeks. Okay, that’s bad—but it gives you an idea what we’re talking about.

One of the ways to maintain DEEP POV is the use of anchoring words, such as:

seemed to be
clearly was
was obviously
watched
knew
saw

These anchoring words are not the only way to express what Scarlett thinks Rhett is feeling. In the above example, you may want to leave out the first sentence entirely.

Let’s explore some ways to show what the non-POV character is thinking or feeling. Here are some examples from my True Heroes military romance series, with anchoring words and phrases in red text.

Example 1:

(Mac is trapped in a downed helo. Lily is the voice on the radio.)

He loved the sound of her laugh. Was she an angel?
He shook his head, trying to clear it. No, not an angel.
Lily.
“Lily.”
“Yeah?”
“I think Bell’s dead.”
She didn’t answer for a minute. He wondered if he’d actually transmitted that.
“What makes you think so?”
“I can’t hear him breathing anymore. It’s really quiet in here. Is it still snowing out there?”
“Last time I checked with Daniel, he said it had slowed somewhat.”
“Danny boy. How’s Danny?”
“Danny?” she asked, obviously amused. “He’s okay. They’re in tents a few ridges over. Remember?”

Example 2:

“When you run out of things to say, you can always read to him. Or just hold his hand.”
Obviously, the nurse was under the same misconception…
“Oh, I…” Not worth setting her straight. “Thank you.”

Example 3:

Lily watched the car depart through unwelcome tears. The last thing she’d meant to do was hurt him. When he’d suggested her reading him the rest of the book, she froze. He’d obviously taken her hesitation as rejection. In reality, all she could think of was sitting next to him, reading her favorite passages time and again.
It was for the best, though. Rick McIntyre was:
A. Old enough to be her father–well, almost.
B. So far out of her league as to be laughable and,
C. Old enough to be her father…
It would save her a lot of heartbreak and a ton of embarrassment if she stuck with her rules. Some things simply could not be overcome, Jane Austin or no Jane Austin.

Example 4:

“Oh, God, Daniel.” Lily reached over and took his hand.
He still looked away toward the horizon.
There weren’t any words. His hand trembled and he obviously struggled for control. He took a ragged breath.

Example 5:

“I know.” (Claire speaking.)
Time hung suspended, her hand on his, their eyes locked. The room felt like it had closed in, focusing on that instant. As if eternity were forged right then.
Chris knew she believed him. This wasn’t an act, wasn’t her lawyer persona. This was Claire, and she was letting him see into her soul, see her passion for the truth, her trust in him, her heart.

Example 6:

“He lied to me.” (Will is speaking.)
Will watched Cruz’s face as his statement sunk in. His dumbfounded look was chased away by complete disbelief.

Example 7:

In this scene, we’re in Claire’s POV. Earlier in the book, she notices that, when he’s stressed, Gabe absently fiddles with his class ring.

He wanted to play games. Fine.
“Okay, Chris, here’s what I know.”
She let the sentence hang and watched as he silently rubbed his vacant ring finger on his right hand. He’d done that in his apartment, when he still had the ring. He had nice hands, gentle but strong.

Example 8:

Claire watched Chris struggle with Julie’s words, with the emotion that seemed to overwhelm all of them. But there, before her eyes, he seemed to gain strength. He raised up, standing to his full glorious height, and smiled. Not the polite-Gabe smile, but the real thing.

In this example, the anchoring word “watched” is used. Then “seemed.” Then Claire paints the picture of what that looked like.

Example 9:

(Mac’s POV – in a conversation with the new colonel)

“God, you’re up to speed awfully quick.”
Tom shrugged off the statement, clearly not sure if Mac had meant it as a compliment or another joke. Rick himself wasn’t sure. It was hard to turn your family over to a new dad.

In this example, Mac sees Tom shrug. He interprets that as Tom being uncertain of the intent of Mac’s statement. Could be Mac be wrong? Of course he could. And that gives another opportunity for conflict.

Example 10:

Sergeant Gabriel was clearly expecting someone else when he pulled open the door. His expression went from anticipation to disappointment to no emotion whatsoever in a matter of seconds.
Claire looked up into pearl grey eyes and held out her hand.

Example 11:

“I need to see Detective Medina.”
“He’s not available at the moment.”
“Go get him. Tell him if he so much as sneezes at my client, I’ll have him censured.”
The guy clearly didn’t know what “censured” meant, but he was sufficiently motivated to pivot briskly and head into the bowels of the building. The other clerk smiled tersely and offered her a seat. She just blinked at him.

Let’s take the last example. If I took that scene to my critique group, half of them would say it’s a POV slip. My cohort in this sort of thing would give a wry smile and shake his head almost imperceptibly, and I would know he’s got my back. He’ll often pipe up and say, “No, you can tell when someone’s angry, or confused, or hesitant. That is not a POV slip!” Thank you, Damon.

That is not to say you can’t go deeper still in some of those instances.

Your assignment: Take a scene from your WIP that includes this sort of interpretation. Or create one! Feel free to share in the comments of this post.

Questions? Or maybe you have some other anchoring words to add to the list. Please share with the loop.

Cheers, Jax