I just finished a book. When I reach this milestone, I always think I should feel happy and excited, or at least satisfied. Instead, my mood seems to turn gloomy and anxious. Maybe it’s the panic of knowing I now have to send my baby out into the world to face criticism and potential rejection. Or the feeling of being at loose ends. How will I survive without a book in my head, a story to retreat into when real life gets tough? Or maybe it’s the looming challenge of what to write next that creates this sense of dread.
Like most writers, I have more story ideas than time to write them. As I get older, this dilemma intensifies. How many more years of writing do I have left? How do I make the most of them? Sometimes a book calls to me so strongly I can’t resist. That’s what happened with the last two. I knew they were impractical choices and unlikely to energize my career or make me any money. But I felt compelled to write them anyway. The first of the two was published a year ago and has failed to meet even my very modest expectations. The book I just finished is in the same unpopular genre. But I don’t regret writing these books. Sometimes you have to indulge your muse and write what your heart tells you to write.
But I know I should be more practical this time and write something that has a chance of being successful. I have a project in mind, but committing to it makes me feel even more unsettled. What if I’m making a mistake? What if I’m wrong and this direction leads nowhere as well? In the meantime, I will clean my office and try to catch up on marketing tasks, like redoing my website and putting out a newsletter. But I remain in an uncomfortable state of uncertainty and indecision.
I wonder how other writers deal with the “what’s next” dilemma. Some of my writer friends have book contracts, so their writing future is all figured out for them. Others are indie published but still seem to have charted a clear career path. How does everyone else make these decisions? Do you write the book that calls to you most? Write the one you think you can sell? Write what seems easiest? Or do you work on the one you started years ago that has been gnawing at you ever since, pushing you to finish it?
Also, do you suffer from “post-book depression”? How do you deal with it? Is the only cure getting right back on the horse and starting another book—even if it’s the wrong one? I’d really like to know. It’s lonely out here in writerland.
Hi Mary — I’m finishing the revisions and editing on a manuscript this week (or next) and am conflicted about what to write next. I’m leaning toward the 3rd historical about the fictional Sangamon, Illinois to make it a trilogy, but I’d also like to clean up an odd novella and two crime fiction novels I wrote a few years ago. No feelings of depression, just confusion. I suppose that’s normal at 76 1/2. 😀
I think you’re right. The older we get, the more fraught these decision can be. It’s a matter of how much time we have (which no one knows) and what we want to be our legacy. Best wishes to you for your career planning. Thanks for stopping by.
I [usually] just dive into another project, usually a novel, sometimes short stories. But the past year or so, with so many other things vying for my attention (surgery, home projects, day job schedules), I haven’t been doing my normal output (but *have* started two novel mss).
Surely you must have multiple projects waiting in the wings? Work some essays or short stories or even blogs to keep your fingers in the pie, so so speak, and when the time’s right, you’ll write! Don’t be so hard on yourself! Maybe you also need some time off—be open to that as well. Try not to think about aging…like you said, one never knows how much time one has, yet we all still exist and do what it is we do. Be kind to yourselves…be gentle…and ride with your own internal energies. If you feel the need to take a break, then do so. :-]
Thanks for the encouragement. I do have lots of projects and need to just jump in. Part of my problem is that I’m trying to catch up on promotion and “housekeeping” writer tasks and they’re not near as much fun as writing a book.
I definitely feel depression at some point during the writing/publishing process. Usually when I’ve finished writing but sometimes right before or after the book is released to the public. Honestly, I thought I was the only one, so I’m kind of glad to hear I’m not, even though I don’t wish the feeling on others. 🙂 For me, it helps to do some other things and take a short break before diving back in.
Glad to know I’m not the only one. It’s sort of weird. Feeling let down when you think you should be happy and fulfilled. But I guess the good thing is that it always forces me to move on and start the next book.
Oh, Mary, I can certainly relate to this feeling. Usually, I’m drained after I complete a book and turn it in to my editor. With a series, it’s easy to begin the next, but when I finished the last book in my second series, I struggled with my next writing project. Do I write for the current “theme” of the industry? No. I must follow the stories in my heart and mind. With that being said, I took a step back and looked at how I wanted to proceed. I wrote down the pros and cons of the business. In the end, I came back to the beginning of why I wanted to be in this career: I write for the joy and passion of my stories. The burning candle within me continues to spark new ideas. Often times, the business side tears down my happiness. It’s a struggle to keep up with the marketing, too. This is a wonderful discussion, Mary. In truth, winter can be a time of reflection and/or depression. And I consider any mistakes I make in the business a learning one. It’s all about the journey. 🙂
You seem so incredibly competent and successful, Mary. It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one who struggles with these things. And you are right, it IS all about the journey. Cheers!
Hi, Mary. I’d label my post-book, pre-release feelings anxiety more than depression. Will I sell any? Will readers like it? But I’m fortunate in that the stories I want to write are in popular genres. That can be a disadvantage, too, as the competition is fierce in contemporary romance and cozy mysteries. I agree with fpdorchak above: a break from writing fiction might be just what you need to recharge. There’s always creative nonfiction to keep your creative batteries charged.
I don’t think I need to recharge so much as to stop dithering and dive into something new. I guess it helps to vent sometimes!
Mary, I’m supposed to be writing the next book in a series, but that book isn’t in my head. I’m finishing one I started last year because it’s calling me. I’m hoping when I finish, I’ll move on to what I’m supposed to write, but those characters keep eluding me. In fact, the characters from the book I’m working on are screaming at me to continue and tell their stories!
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. I am always so impressed with the writers who can crank out a whole series one book after another. I usually want a break in between. Part of my current struggle is that I’m planning to start on a Regency series with four books outlined and I’m sort of panicked about committing to that many books in the same world. I may end up like you and take a break in the middle and write something else. Sometimes stories just demand to be written. I think you just have to go with it when your characters are that insistent. People say this is a business and you have to be smart, but the muse does not always want to do the smart, logical thing. And it’s never good to make your muse mad!
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I sympathize. I definitely suffer that emotional dive.
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I guess it’s more common that I thought. Nice to know I’m not totally weird. Thanks.
I can relate to this post. Writing is a business so there is the dilemma of, do I write what I think will sell or do I write what I feel like writing. I think finding a happy medium is important. But it’s all subjective in the end so there will always be this type of doubt for writers. I have never suffered from postpartum book depression, but I experience an emotional roller coaster of self doubt while I’m writing. But I remind myself if I did it before I can do it again.
Usually once I start a book, the momentum of the story and the characters carry me through and I can keep the doubts at bay. That’s probably why when I finish, they all come crowding in and start to almost paralyze me. But you’re right, you have to have faith that your drive and vision will see you through. Thanks.
Great post, Mary. You’ve hit the proverbial nail on the head. And here I thought I was the only one who felt that way. When I first finish a manuscript, I’m elated and excited, but then the insecurities filter in. Will I be able to write another one? Will it be any good? At the moment, I’m working on a project that is out of my usual genre, but it’s calling to me and so I’ll continue. I have to remind myself that I didn’t start writing to be famous or rich, I just wanted to write. That’s what is important. This is a great topic an done that hits home for so many of us.
Yes, I’ve been surprised at all the responses. That’s what I meant when I said it was lonely out here. We see so much of other writers’ successes and all the things they do well that we forget that most of us have doubts at one time or another. It can be a challenging business and the thing that gets us through it is our love of writing, of creating our stories and our characters. We need to always hang onto that like a beacon pulling us forward. Thanks for sharing.
I’ve always thought of this as Separation Anxiety–from the characters. They are like friends while writing the book, and suddenly they’re just gone! It’s sad.
Maybe that’s what it is. And I want to go back to their world, but know I need to switch to another era.
I take a break while toying with various next projects.
Sometimes stories come to you like cats. You weren’t looking for one, but one day they show up, and you can’t turn them away. It’s just a question of waiting and, in the case of stories, recharging your batteries.
Ha ha! We both know about cats turning up. Right now, out of our five, we only went out looking for one.
I’m in the process of writing my first book. That is causing me enough anxiety as it is as I have such a long way to go! I’ve been procrastinating for years, and I’m not getting any younger (39 next month, but no husband or children yet so having a few anxieties about that too!), and have really propelled myself into writing now. I follow other authors on social media, some of whom have given really useful info. My favourite one is Sarra Cannon, who runs a website/YouTube channel called Heart Breathings and she provides some really useful information for writers, one for me was planning my writing time, this has given me a focus. She also writes multiple series, and doesn’t always follow each book in the series one after the other as much, but just goes with the flow of what she’s wanting to write at the time. She also talks about self publishing, marketing etc which you might find interesting?
I had a choice to make, whether to continue with an historical book series I’d been working on for years or start something completely different. I agonized over which for a few days, thinking the same as you, what if it’s the wrong choice, but I thought there is no wrong choice as I’ll get to the other book eventually. I chose the historical series as I had already spent so much time on it already (a few nanowrimos etc), so I’m in a better position at finishing it. I do have a notebook with all my other story ideas in (however random!), and so they’re there if I ever need to see what inspires me next. Go with your gut. It’s easy to think popular choices make you more successful, and maybe at times that’s true, but what’s popular changes all the time. Also like others have responded, carve out some relaxation time, you need the break from such a huge project, it may give you some clarity at what to do next.
Take care
Laura
Thanks for your encouraging words, Laura. And best wishes to you on your historical book series. And believe me, 39 is not old! (I’m 62.) You are right, you have plenty of time, so the main thing is you are writing and feeling motivated. Still struggling on my next project, between my heart and my head. Cheers!
I always feel that way at the end. I usually go shopping, which is weird because I’m normally not a shopper.
I love to shop and do it all the time, so don’t encourage me. I usually clean my office and have sort of been at it fitfully. Maybe I need to finish cleaning it and that will “cleanse the palate for the next book. Thanks.
I’m so glad I found this post!
I’ve just finished a fan fiction novel that I have had in my head for literally decades. It’s just for me and anyone I know who wants to read it (I do have a series that I’m writing which will be for possible publication). When I woke this morning I felt so satisfied and pleased but as the day wore on I became more and more down. That piece of fan fiction was the best I’ve ever written, but it was also the hardest thing I’ve ever written. It was more personal, and I didn’t want to finish it because I had grown so close to the characters. I hope this period of “Down” doesn’t last long so I can get on with the second book in the Samurai series that I have planned.