Fear of “Promotional” Rejection

Although the words don’t always come as fast as I like, I seldom experience writer’s block. But I constantly struggle with “promotion block”. I tell myself I need to promote and set things in motion to start but then I never follow through.

When my last book came out in the fall, I made some effort: I bought a few ads and dabbled in social media. I updated my website and had trailers made for all three books in the series. I even started writing a newsletter. But then I used the excuse of family obligations and the holidays to take a break. The break continued when I started writing my next book in earnest and became immersed in the story. Now, six months have passed since I’ve done anything promotion-wise.

But I can’t make excuses any longer. In a month, I am retiring and for the first time in my adult life, I will actually have hours of free time. Yet, I remain deeply, profoundly, blocked when it comes to doing promotion. Many things are involved in my struggle: My innate abhorrence of putting myself out there and touting my own work, a related discomfort with social media, my frustration with technology, a sense of being overwhelmed by all the options out there: What’s the best kind of ad to buy? What platform should I use? What sort of promo works best? But beyond my paralysis over these decisions, there is fear. The fear of rejection.

To promote is to risk failing, and failing means your efforts were ignored. Maybe even scorned. And the modern day form of promotion is so personal. I can make myself create ads or write newsletters, write blurbs and do other things directly related to the book itself. But using social media effectively means selling yourself…something I find distressing. It taps into childhood traumas. Being shy and uncertain in a new school, dreading what people will think of me. Being bullied as a misfit adolescent. Getting dumped after a couple of dates. Applying for jobs and not getting them.

And then there are the disappointments unique to a writer’s life: brutal critique groups, rejection from editors and agents, and once you do get published, bad reviews and poorly-attended booksignings. Some writers seem to take those things in stride. They shrug at criticisms of their books, celebrate their rejection letters, ignore the bad reviews. They are certain of their work, and most importantly, certain of themselves. They believe they are worthy of acclaim and adulation. I envy them.

I’ve managed to promote on some level for years, despite my discomfort. But with the rise of social media, my dread of it has intensified. And who can blame me. There is so much anger and cruelty circulating in social media. It seems to bring out the worst in people.

I know I must overcome my fear and do promotion. If I ever want to get anywhere in my writing career, I have to find a tolerable, less-than-excruciating way to put myself out there. Find a way to deflect from myself and focus on other things: my ideas, what I am interested in, the story behind my books. There will still be the risk of rejection. But I need to toughen up. Take pride in myself and my books. Buck up.

It will be a work in progress.