When I first signed my book with a small press, I knew I was being slingshotted into fame. When it did not happen, I blamed myself, my marketing efforts, even my talent for not becoming an overnight sensation. The duty to get my name out there sapped all joy I once found in crafting a story.
One book helped me take back that fulfillment.
At conference last year, a trusted peer leaned over to me with a book cover on his phone and said, “This book changed my life.” I immediately added the suggestion to my TBR pile and bee-bopped through the rest of conference none the wiser.
Later I signed up with a group of fellow RMFW authors to complete the 12-week long course, The Artist’s Way. With the truest of intentions, I lasted two and a half weeks. I am a very busy lady, but I knew I needed some sort of motivational, inspirational chunk of love to bring me and my writing back to life.
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert has now changed my life, and it never would have if my good friend had not shared his recommendation.
I could easily quote this entire book and give you practical examples of how nearly every word resonated with my creative relationship. Instead, I will tell you how it brought the joy back to my writing.
I have two books published and one on the way, with release dates all within a year. I am new. Like I mentioned, I expected to hit big immediately—and when I did not, my ego took a major blow. Granted, I have sold hundreds of each book, which is a grand accomplishment. But to me, thousands should have been purchased by now.
Now I am knee-deep in a Mother’s Day campaign with a very talented PR person, because two months ago I was clawing at this fame dream. I had four major appearances scheduled, which required airfare, hotel, and a babysitter for my two kiddos at home. I am not an author with an established readership and 20 titles for sale, but I booked these events as if I were.
Liz Gilbert, also the author of Eat, Pray, Love, explained that once we obligate our writing to be our job and support us, the process is stressed and we lose sight of why we started. I used to say my kids are why I write. What I meant was: I want a job selling my books to afford me more time with my kids. Being upset with two books for not flying into the hands of 900+ people a week is silly and unrealistic.
I write because I am good at it. People enjoy my stories, and I enjoy pouring out my ideas into perfectly articulated pieces of myself. I show these pieces to others like a child shows a piece of homemade pottery. “Look what I made!” I make something out of nothing. I create people, places, and experiences that never existed before and put them down on paper. Coming back to this idea is important for the future of my career as a writer.
So, I scraped my plate of things that stressed me out about writing. For me, this was financial expectation. For you, it might be a dead storyline. I am fortunate to have a super flexible day job. All of my needs are met. Writing is more than a hobby to me, and I will continue this journey regardless of where it does or does not take me.
What do you scrape from your plate when things affect your ability to create? What resources would you recommend to help new writers gain better perspective?
Excellent post, Dacia! I also loved Big Magic and plan to read it again soon. My favorite part tells about those ideas that only give us so much time to pluck them out of the air before they zoom off to more receptive writers.
The thing that comforts me most (about not becoming rich and famous) is to walk into a bookstore or library and think about all the stories and all the authors represented by the books on those shelves. Accepting I’m just one of millions, but that my books are on a few library shelves across the country, has become enough. Anything else is a bonus. Meanwhile, I’ll write on. I can’t help myself.
Patricia-
Thank you for your solidarity. My favorite part was how Tristam dressed to the nines when he was feeling uninspired in order to invite the ideas to him. Like how can ideas NOT want to come to me, I’m fabulous! LOL
When I took a step back and asked myself, “What would you do if this went nowhere?” The truth is, I would keep writing. I would keep putting my ideas out into the world. So why is fame so important if I am just going to do it anyway? It’s not.
I think the problem is i never go into a task or project thinking it won’t be great. Sometimes I don’t finish because I know it will fail. To me, it hurts far worse to land on my face than to convince myself to give up. Gilbert’s insight is breaking me of this habit as well.
I spend an inordinate amount of time prepping for classes I teach at conferences, retreats and on-line. Sometimes I am avoiding writing with that habit. But it makes for better classes! ha!
May I also highly recommend “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield? It’s a quick read, but one that’s changed my life. He talks about resistance as being a real thing that we have to combat in order to create our art. How resistance doesn’t want us to be creative and all the tricks it uses to keep us from doing it.