By Karen Duvall
I have three cats and one dog. My diva-dog, Kinsey, you’ve already met. She’s the most demanding of the bunch, but my other fur-babies put her through her paces. Sometimes they have… disagreements. Ironically enough it’s the youngest and the smallest of the crew that has Kinsey’s number. My little tuxedo cat, Sammy, weighing in at a little over eight pounds, has catitude. She never gives Kinsey a break.
Kinsey: Paces back and forth in front of the back door.
Sammy Cat: Relax. Mom’s gonna be back any minute.
Kinsey: How do you know?
Sammy Cat: She always comes back.
Kinsey: I saw her put on her leave-the-house clothes. She’s going far, far away and won’t be back FOREVER!
Sammy Cat: You watched her get dressed?
Kinsey: I always watch her get dressed. How else will I know if she’s staying home or leaving me?
Sammy Cat: Stalker.
Kinsey: Am not.
Sammy Cat: Are too.
Kinsey: Curls her lip. She’s supposed to be writing today, but she left the house. I saw her take Teddy with her. She never takes that tub of lard anywhere, and he didn’t even want to go.
Sammy Cat: How do you know he didn’t want to go?
Kinsey: Smiles. Because he scratched her and peed all over her when she carried him to the car to put him in the cat carrier.
Sammy Cat: You told him to do that, didn’t you?
Kinsey: So what if I did?
Sammy Cat: Pauses to think. He’d never do that without a bribe.
Kinsey: Lifts her nose in the air. I promised to give him back the little yarn pom poms he likes to play with. I have them hidden in my crate.
Sammy Cat: That’s extortion.
Kinsey: So what? Mom shouldn’t leave me! I thought she’d stay home after getting peed on. Teddy didn’t want to go anyway. It was supposed to be a win-win for everyone.
Sammy Cat: Twitches her tail. Everyone but Mom.
Kinsey: Hangs her head and tries to look guilty.
Sammy Cat: Faker.
Kinsey: Am not.
Sammy: Are too.
Kinsey: I’m the only one who should be allowed to leave with Mom. You cats have to stay inside the house.
Sammy Cat: Twitches her tail harder this time. Are you saying you’d rather be the one riding in the car?
Kinsey: No way. I hate riding in cars. You know that. I only like to chase them.
Sammy Cat: Dogs are supposed to love riding in cars.
Kinsey: Well, I don’t.
Sammy Cat: I bet that’s why Mom doesn’t write about you. Because you’re weird.
Kinsey: Am not.
Sammy Cat: Are too.
Kinsey: Long pause. I am?
Sammy Cat: Bats her favorite jingle ball toy across the floor. You are.
Kinsey: Resumes her pacing and starts to whine. Mom’s left us and she’s NEVER coming back!
Sammy Cat: Rolls her eyes and shakes her head, swishing her tail as she leaves the room. Pathetic.
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Karen Duvall is a multi-published author with Harlequin Luna. Her current project is a fantasy romance that features lizards, birds, Dodos, pigs, a tiger and a cat, but no dogs. Her own dog is not happy about this and is thinking about going on strike.
http://www.karenduvallauthor.com
Another very fun post, Karen. I hadn’t had a pet for many years until we adopted our Katie Cat two years ago. She makes us laugh, and that’s always a good thing.
Thanks, Pat! 🙂 It was fun to write. Other than Sammy and Kinsey actually talking to each other, the rest of this post is 100% true. It all happened on Wednesday.
Karen, I’ve written a few blog posts about my silly Dog-Dog. He’s a weimaraner named Blue and is a very entertaining and lovable family member. I loved this post– could just imagine that conversation going on and loved the voice you gave the cat! Awesome.
Thanks, Julie! You should see how these two are together in real life. They are a constant source of entertainment.
My cat just left my arm after ‘helping’ me revise this morning. Loved the conversation between your pets. 🙂
LOL! Don’t you love it when they do that? Sammy will sometimes trot across the keyboard to contribute to my wordcount. So helpful. My other cat, Cody, likes to sit on the spacebar.
Too FUNNY! The look alone in Sammy’s eyes tells you who’s in control.
Thanks, Wendy! 🙂 Yeah, she’s a pistol.
I don’t have any pets at the present time. Loved the convo between Kinsey and Sammy Cat. I enjoyed your very funny post!!
Aww, thanks, Diana! 🙂