Thankful for the Ugly Cry

I have seen a common theme in many RMFW posts lately on a subject I am quickly learning is key to success: gratitude. As the year wraps up and my dreams of being a traditionally published author are just days away from fruition, I usher in my favorite season with a warm “soul blanket” of appreciation.

You see, being thankful does not just serve those things you are thankful for. Sure, happy things are easy to recognize and make us feel all warm and cozy inside. Gratitude begins to serve you best when you can identify the good outcomes even from the worst of circumstances.

As writers we incorporate many of our life experiences into writing. If not the specific experiences, then we interject the emotions we might have felt into situations we wish to never go through. Fear, anguish, loss, pain, joy, ambivalence. I am thankful for having gone through what I have so I can articulate these common emotions to readers on a level that meets them where they are.

I remember Tiffany Martin teaching me at the Colorado Gold Conference about making my character’s responses and emotions visceral and relatable in a pure, natural, and instinctive way. This makes me recall the excited noise I make when receiving good news. It’s like an EEEEEE sound through clenched teeth with my hands balled up near my gigantic smile. Or how, if I start to cry when I am talking, my lower lip drops like a child and my voice gets very high-pitched. It is an ugly cry. Trust me.

I have had many ups and downs throughout 2018, from having my toddler daughter admitted to the hospital for the fourth time in as many months to a trying time in my marriage. While having more writing material is something I can use for the better, the one thing I would not change about the last 12 months is the person I have become. Who I am today is exactly who I need to be to get where I want to go in the future.

I am thankful for every experience 2018 dumped on me. In the face of disagreements with my publisher, Amazon canceling six months of paperback preorders just weeks from release, and my second failed attempt at NaNoWriMo, I have new friendships brought on by solidarity in my frustration. This year I learned so much about publishing and marketing while flubbing through my first self-published novella. I even attended my first writing conference this year and coached new writers to pursue their passions.

As we usher in the holidays, and I start 2019 in a fairy tale… What silver lining can you pull from an otherwise trying time this year?