That Time of Year

This month, I want to talk mental health.

Don’t get me wrong—I love autumn. We get a break from the heat. The weather’s usually bright and sunny. The trees cloak themselves in color.

The downside comes as the days get shorter, and seasonal affective disorder begins rearing its ugly head.

Yes, SAD is a recognized condition. Depending on where you live and how much the day’s length shifts over the course of the year, you may be affected more or less. People in Florida, not so much. People in Alaska, almost 1 in 10 have been diagnosed. Here in Colorado we don’t have that extreme change, but it’s still a factor.

Writers—and creatives of all stripes—are statistically more likely to have to deal with chronic depression, which might be exacerbated by the changes in activity, the length of the day, and the pressures applied by end-of-year festivities. These can add great joy but carry emotional burdens, adding that one last straw to a precarious mental and emotional load. I deal with chronic depression and ADHD, so this time of year is problematic for me personally.

Over the years, I’ve come to recognize some key signs that there’s trouble ahead. My mental “rumble strip” warns me when I’m veering too far off the path.

1. I withdraw. Like many writers, I’m basically an introvert. I like being around people, but there are times when I need to withdraw to protect my sanity. It makes it difficult for me to recognize that I haven’t actually spoken to anybody beyond the four walls of my house for a few weeks. When was the last time you had a chat with somebody?
2. I stop doing the things that give me pleasure. Most specifically, I stop paying attention to my writing. Sure, I need percolation time between books, but when that gets to be months instead of weeks, that’s a warning sign for me. It’s made more diabolical because I’m not an “every day writer.” It’s not part of my practice. Every year, I try to cultivate that and fail, but that’s another blog post. When was the last time you did something just for fun?
3. I stop doing the self-care practices that help control my ADHD. Specifically, I keep a bullet journal for every day’s activities. Ideally I fill it out the night before as the last thing I do for the day. When I stop doing that, things go south. I meditate. I use an app that tracks it for me and keeps me focused. When that practice slips, I’m not managing my cognition very well. I keep a year-at-a-glance calendar beside my desk so I get a visual reminder of how the year’s going. What techniques do you use to manage your self-care?
4. The voices in my head get nasty. After years of therapy, I’ve become pretty good at changing those critical voices. I’ve learned to re-frame, to get behind the voices to find out what the underlying causes are, rather than just letting them fester. If the voices are being mean, it only means I’m not paying attention to my self-care. What do your voices say? How do you manage them?

So, while the days still have some sunlight and the air isn’t freezing, maybe it’s time for you to check in with yourself. Maybe get a bit preemptive on the self-care by taking a few moments to be a bit more self-aware. It’s not narcissistic. It’s part of being present, being in the moment. When your stomach is upset, it tells you. The same is true of your mind.

Are you listening?